Teaching Meanness or Self Defense?

My first, Josh, is like the sweetest person and I'm having to teach him several things.
a) Just because you FEEL something doesn't mean it hurts
b) Just because you hurts someone's feelings doesn't mean you shouldn't say what you should
c) stand up for yourself
d) sometimes you gotta suck it up (pain) to dish out the appropriate consequence

Point in case... there is a kid at school that was such a little $hit. We had a water balloon toss game on Friday and when the kid dropped it, he blamed it on Josh.... insomuch as that he ran full throttle at Josh and KICKED HIM IN THE KNEE/THIGH!!!

Besides being obviously LIVID... I was MAD at Josh for just laying there trying to suck in the drama (trust me, he could win a freakin OSCAR with his dramatic acting) and not standing up for himself.

I told him what happened to me in the same type of incidence... I grabbed the girl's leg as she was making contact, locked it in and twisted it...she came down full on her knee causing it to be BADLY sprained and she was out of soccer for the season. Oh darn her luck.... don't mess with me!

I told Josh sometimes that he's going to have to get MAD instead of turning into a crybaby and that through his tears, he was going to have to fight the pain and dish out some consequences. He is going to have to learn to stand up for himself. Once he did that people would know that he's not their hacky sack...

Same thing with Drew today... at McDonalds, some kid in the tubes pulled his hair so badly that it caused a welt on the side of his HEAD! Yes, I wanted to yank that little creep's hair and say -- freakin hurts ya little twerp... don't it?

But I told Drew, look, when you CHOOSE to go up there, you have to defend yourself. If someone hurts you... hurt them back worse and then come tell me. Because chances are they're going to tell their mommies too and I wnat to know what happened. You will NEVER get in trouble with me for defending yourself...whatever the consequences. He said "okay" and he went right back up there... Drew was going to play on the side the "mean boy" wasn't but by the time he went up there, the little twerp had gone to the side of the tubes that Drew was entering. And guess what he did again... KNEED hiim in the chest WHILE pullig his hair... I gave the kid the death stare and he looked like he was about to cry and Drew wanted to go home. Little shit... makes me so mad...

HOWEVER, you know... if it were MY kid that were starting it...pulling someone's hair... etc. I would want someone to let me know! And you know what I'd do? I'd pull his freakin hair and say, "hurts don't it? or touch someone else and we are going home"