My favorites

Josh will routinely ask me what my favorite is... my favorite color, my favorite flower, my favorite movie, my favorite song, my favorite band... and truth be known -- I don't really have many favorites.

I mean, to say something is your favorite really means that you're putting one thing up on a pedestal as the end all be all your top of the totem pole favorite and...well, it's seems so limiting to me.

Colors.. it depends on what it's for... I like white... I like black... I like red... I love hues of green and yellow and brown and turquoise... all mixed together in a beautiful design. I love purple and coral. Picking just one just isn't a good ting to me. For cars, however, I really like black. For shirts, I like plain white or black -- I can't really pull off patterns very well.

Numbers... ??? I don't know why anyone WOULD have a favorite number. If I had to pick one it'd be ...well... number ONE! LOL. Just keep it simple but for no other reason than it's typically a winner!

Flowers... again, why be so limiting? Tulips are beautiful as are hydrangeas and daisies and roses... how about a big old bunch of wild flowers??? They're all my favorite just because they're each beautiful and unique in their own.

then... you talk about kids.

Josh -- Josh is my favorite because of his kind and gentle heart. He aims to please and he is very sensitive. He wants to be exceptional at everything he does and would rather do without than someone to go without because of him. He's goofy and has the most beautiful hazel eyes of any kiddo ever! He wants to do well. He wants to fit in. He's my favorite because of at the stage in his life that he's at... with the cards that he's been dealt... he handles it better than any kid I know could. He's my favorite because he loves to learn and likes having little pieces of trivial knowledge to insert into conversation. He's my favorite artist. He's my favorite because he is learning that if he doesn't speak up for himself... sometimes no one else can. My favorite is Josh...

Drew -- Drew is my favorite because of his desire to be happy and his imagination. He is an amazing Lego maniac. His recent plastering every inch of wall with personally made Star Wars posters is awesome. He's my favorite artist. He drew my most favorite Boba Fett, ever. He, too, aims to please and he, himself, will be moved to tears at the thought of upsetting Mommy or Daddy. He has a very tender heart and does not like people to laugh or make fun of him. It hurts his feelings and when they get hurt, he runs to hide. His vulnerability is my favorite. His imagination and hour long "play baths" are my favorite. He has these awesome grey eyes. My favorite grey eyes. My favorite is Drew...

Ben -- Ben is my favorite because he needs me. He looks lost in a room until he looks up and sees me and then instantly smiles. ...because he knows that I will provide for him whatever it is that he needs to feel safe and secure. ...because he doesn't care what he wears, what's on TV, what's for dinner or when... because he hasn't reached the age of antagonism or orneriness. He doesn't need anything but some milk, some love, some sleep and a clean diaper. His simplicity is my favorite. He just wakes up when he needs something and then makes eye contact with me and just smiles the most genuine smile. My favorite baby smile. My favorite is Ben...

So, see, it's just like why I can't say I have a favorite child because they're ALL my favorites since they're all unique and different and wonderful. If they were all the same, it'd be easy to say, "THIS....this one is my favorite." But they're not. And I wouldn't want them any other way.