I'm a lot of things....

... and a sugar-coater is not one of them. Life isn't always blue skies and rainbows and sunbeams from Heaven. Sometimes, it's really, really trying.

Yesterday, for example, I was down to the last iota of patience I had. The very last grain of sand in my sanity's hourglass was about to pass between the narrow opening...

Thursday means practice around here. Generally it's both football and baseball practice. However, since Drew's team wrapped up their fall season, we're down to just one practice. Josh's team made it to the playoffs and are tied for 2nd place so they've had practice on both Tuesday and Thursday this week from 6-7:30 p.m. That being said, he gets home from school about 3:15 p.m. and and it's snacks, chores, homework, football. There isn't time for anything else. Especially dinking around.

Here is just -- in a nutshell what I was trying to accomplish! I was trying to clean Drew's room. I don't mean CLEAN clean it, just get it to where you could actually walk through it! I've been moving his size 5 clothes out and putting in the size 6 clothes. Well, what used to be a one day task is turning into a three week ordeal. Seriously... it was FOR.THE.BIRDS. He had crap shoved under his bed, under his dresser, under his clothes in the closet. I finally just started throwing things into "somewhat" manageable piles hoping for a miracle woman to appear and do it for me. (didn't happen).

While I start doing this, I've got a screaming baby gnawing on my ankles. Seriously, he's totally content (for about five minutes) and then you have to deal with that. So I'm seriously considering putting up a playpen for him to scream in while I try to knock out Drew's clothing exchange.

I look down at Ben and his TOE is bleeding. He's got a HUUUUUGE hangnail on his big toe. OK, so now I know why he's probably crying. Fix that.

The boys come home from school and first things first. They must have their snack. This is because Josh, my 5th grader eats lunch at 10:50. TEN FIFTY he's eating lunch?! WTH? Drew my child in kindergarten eats at 11:30. Weird timing they have there.

So, snack --check
Chores -- mostly check
Get ready for football -- check

Then the conversation with "he who doesn't listen."
"Drew -- go get ready for your party."
"What party?"
"Your end of season baseball party. The one you've been asking about allllll week."
"What do I wear?"
"Wear your jersey and some shorts or sweats or something."
"My jersey?"
"Yes, wear your jersey and a shirt underneath it."
"Do I have to wear my baseball pants?"
"No, I said, 'Just wear your jersey and some shorts or sweats or something.'"
"I don't want to wear my baseball pants."
"THEN DON'T."
Moments later, he comes downstairs in a pair of Nike Timberwolves shorts (royal blue/black) and a long sleeved St. Patrick's Day GREEN shirt... and Lightning McQueen shoes that are too big. No jersey. I give up.

"MOOooooooooooooooooom." Apparently Josh still needs help with homework... and it's stuff I haven't done in EONS. I'm talking... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEONS!

I go looking online to help him because GENIUS didn't bother to bring his BOOK home. He just has his workbook that goes with it. Brilliant, huh? I KNOW I have math homework and I don't bring my math book home. Yeah, figure that one out. Apparently I should be flattered he thinks I'm so smart I can just pull that stuff out of my .... you know...

Anyway, while I'm searching for an instructional video or something to help me learn how to explain this to him, I've left Ben in the playroom -- within ear shot, yet out of viewing range --with Drew.

And then it happens -- a blood curdling scream --FROM BEN!

I race to the room and Drew's only thing, "It was an accident." ???? No, dropping your milk on the table is an accident. WHAT was an accident? He didn't say ANYTHING other than "It was an accident."

Ok... my blood begins to boil. Seriously. I'm thinking fury. Filling with rage. Ok.. maybe not fury and rage but I'm definitely pissed off and full of severe irritation. I just ask him, "What the hell did you DO?" I just look down at where Ben was... and the poor kid was SURROUNDED by Tinker toys about his head. Drew was pelting the kid with tinker toys in the HEAD?! WTF! Have you SEEN how huge those things are to PELT A BABY IN THE HEAD WITH?! Seriously. I was so, SOOOOOO beyond mad that I was just done. I knew anything that came out of my mouth from that point on was going to be a) not pleasant and b) something I couldn't take back.

"Get your butt in the car."

I had to physically calm down before I beat the child to death and told God he died.

I just said, "Shame on you. You're supposed to be the one to protect him from harm, not inflict it upon him. SHAME ON YOU!"

I had ever intention of him NOT going to his party at this point but ... then I didn't want to even BE AROUND HIM because I knew the lecture would spew.

Ben is screaming uncontrollably. He will NOT calm down. I have to buckle him in the car seat screaming and he remains crying until we're a good 5 minutes down the road. The kid is clearly distressed.

At football practice, and I drop off Josh. Their practice is over at 7:30 p.m. I drive down the road and meet up with Andy. I explain to him through clenched teeth about our little episode and then he sees Drew's not in jersey...at a team function... and he says the same thing we always do when the kids are so BEYOND mismatched, "You look homeless!" He's clearly irritated and we let Drew go to the party only because a) we've RSVP'd and paid for it and b) Andy's an assistant coach and it'd look bad if he weren't there.

I leave. I take a moment to enjoy the silence...since Ben's cried himself to sleep.

I wonder where in the world I will go with this new found ninety minutes of freedom. I go grab some onion rings at Dickey's BBQ. Them the smell coming from that place alone is enough to make you salivate like a Pavlovian dog.

Knowing I have no other purpose to be out, I head home.

I get a phone call, they're coming home. Drew got two trophies (well, a trophy and a medal). I rain on the parade, however. He is grounded for being a... well, an IDIOT!

The evening ritual starts ... I get him bathed and then try to get him to sleep. Ben lays down for about 15 minutes... cry... and then All.Night.Long. tossed and turned and was NEVER HAPPY anywhere. He finally went to sleep about 11pm. 7:30-8 is his usual. And this is even without a nap. I knew something was up. Drew broke him with the Tinker toys! (Just kidding, but I'll use that mommy guilt whenever I can...don't think I'm above milking that one for all it's worth!)

Ben. He is one MISERABLE kid.

That makes for one MISERABLE-ER mom.
Miserable-er?
Yes, I said, "Miserable-er"
It's a word. How do I know? Because I just used it! Duh!

It was a LONG NIGHT waking up crying every 20 minutes or so. He would never settle down. He was just so unhappy.

I wake up today for the umteenth time but for good at 5:20 a.m. and Ben's hands are BURNING hot. 101 temperature. Here it comes. He's obviously sick. I nurse him and then make waffles for the big boys.

Drew has his car show at school. I made him a Lightning McQueen car. Basically, it's just a chance for the little guys in K to have their parents make them a car out of a box and then they do a parade around the school, through chapel and then into the high school to meet up with their high school buddies.

It's always fun to spend the better part of two days turning a box into a car for him to wear proudly around school only to put it in the trash a few days later. Parent homework. It sucks.

With my lack of sleep, all I can say is "Thank God for carpools!"

I call Dr. Knapp while I'm standing in the hallway of the Elementary School waiting for the car show to start to make Ben a doctor's appointment. 10:00 a.m. It's 8:30 a.m. -- good -- plenty of time. We get there and wait 40 minutes to be seen (ugh) He comes in to see Ben and we have a chat. HE can't see his ear drums as there's some ear was in the way. He has to get a special tool and proceeds (after three tries) to remove a HUGE piece of ear wax from both ears. Seriously, it was disgusting, yet morbidly fascinating. I'm wondering how the kid could hear AT ALL. It was SO GROSS!

However, that cleared the way for the inevitable -- double ear infection. Poor baby.

I left the doctor's office and headed to Chick Fil A for lunch.

Baby Ben finally took a well-deserved nap in the swing.

Then, come to think of it, I'm really not feeling all that well....Oh, and did I mention that Andy's leaving town tonight? Murphy's Law. I live and breathe it. BUT -- it will not get the best of me.

So the run down for Thursday/Friday was... I'm sick with a sick kid. Josh has a party to go to at 3:45 this afternoon. I haven't gotten a gift for his friend yet. His playoff game is at 7:30 PM tomorrow. Ben's bedtime is at, oh yeah, you guessed it - 7:30 p.m. Since there is no one else here to go TO his playoff game, I obviously have to go... with a sick-o and I have a grounded Drew for the weekend.

It's going to be freakin' PEACHY in my life this weekend...stay away!