Hitler Returns

Yeah, that's me. I'm gonna pull a Hitler on my kids when they get home today. Seriously, I don't understand... are boys just slobs? I'm so sick of the MESS! Maybe I'm hormonal. If so, they better not bat an eyelash at me until I'm done.

And no, I'm not gonna yell. I'm just going to point out what it is that I'm having an issue with, ask them how they can help me and then wait for a reply. Now, if after lots of friendly conversation and well constructed reflective listening exercises, I don't get the response I'm looking for, we shall see if they have a pulse if their answers don't pass the smell test.

My housekeeper typically comes on Thursdays. I told both boys YESTERDAY that information and reminded them several times. I even just instructed Drew to get dressed and that he had one hour to make everything happen before his Mimi picked him up. She showed up early, mind you, but he was still in his uniform, nothing had been done... and he was with Josh... on the laptop playing a stupid game.

This morning, I even went so far as to call Josh on the home phone intercom and said, "Pat's coming today, please be sure everything is picked up off your floor."

HE got the message. He knew she was coming. HE didn't do a freakin' thing. Nada.

But, like I said, he had plenty of time to play on the laptop YESTERDAY. His mess? It had been there FOR TWO DAYS.

I don't ask a lot of my children. I really don't. I don't expect spotless rooms. I don't expect them to ever pick up their socks when they remove them since we seem to find them salt and peppered all over the house. I do, however, expect them to do as they're told. I expect them to try their best. I expect them to listen.

My job as their mother isn't to raise them to be OCD, organizational, clean-freaks (like me) but rather to raise them to be productive and responsible members not only of our family but also society. Unfortunately, their brains can't seem to function past what they want to do at any immediate moment. I even confirmed this with another dad today via text message (thanks, Zac!) He's father of two and is a great source of information and ideas for handling boys.

My boys -- they can stand a mere six inches from a laundry basket when they remove their school clothes and STILL.LEAVE.THEM.ON.THE.FLOOR?!!!?!?!???! SIX FREAKIN INCHES FROM THE DAD GUM BASKET?! I don't understand it. I don't. I can't even "get it" for a second.

Then, later in the day when they walk into their room and pass those close floor and said clothes are in the way, they don't even pick them up THEN and deposit them in the laundry basket... they KICK THEM out of the way?!? Holy Moses I don't understand this. I don't. It makes me want to pull a Mommy Dearest board meeting line on them (no, I won't drop "f" bombs at my children... but it does frustrate me ... that's an "F" word, right?) hee hee.

I don't expect either of them to be a mom or even to clean like one, for that matter. I do, however, expect them to follow the house rules... and not be a slob. Slobs are gross.

If you drop it, pick it up.

If you open it, close it.

If you get it out, put it back.

If it's yours, it's your responsibility.

I'm your mother, I'm not your maid.

And lately, if it's TOO SMALL put it in the BIN IN YOUR CLOSET FOR CLOTHES THAT ARE TOO SMALL. Quit sending the same damn shirt to be WASHED FIFTEEN THOUSAND TIMES because you are too freakin LAZY TO PUT IT IN A TUB?@#!$#$%JKL@#J% (that is a major cause of stress for me right this minute. Can you tell?)

However, above all, I want them to know that it's always nice to do something unexpected for someone that you know they will appreciate. Unfortunately, I"m sick of being the one doing nice things like... CLEANING UP THEIR CRAP... so that they have more free time. :)

sigh.

I feel better now.

Wonder if I can buy them new heads on e-bay since I'm about to bite theirs off? Hmmm..