Dieting is HELL

Why is it that every important event throughout the year encompasses food -- it encourages over-indulgence -- it leaves those of us that find it too tempting with overwhelming feelings of guilt? Think about it...

January 1 - New Year's Day (well, this day is mostly spent popping asprin like they were tic tacs and telling everyone to SHHHHHHH while you're dragging butt around the house but the night before was full of food

Valentine's Day -- how's he to show you he loves you? Taking you out to a nice restaurant.... giving you a big ole box of chocolates. If you read between the lines that's almost like he's saying, here, take this 10 lb box of chocolate so that you'll gain 15 just from looking at it then you'll be so fat that you'll never leave me because you have no more self esteem TO leave.. MOOO ha ha ha ha ha!!! Naah... men aren't capable of comprehending that much into a gift are they? lol..

Mardi Gras - Now if THIS Isn't about over-indulgence -- I odn't know what the heck is!

Tax Day -- now yeah, most wouldn't think that this would be a day of over-indulgence but we all know how those stress eaters are... that's basically like giving them a front row seat at the local Corral restaurant! You KNOW it's gonna happen...that or the entire bag of Hershey's Kisses they'd bought for the candy jar at work will be nothing but remnants of foil packaging neatly rolled into little balls ready to flick at the computer screen when you see it says "taxes due".

Easter -- the big hooplah is all about the Easter dinner... easter brunch -- mostly buffet styles with very decadant desserts -- hmm... wonder if I've made my reservations yet. :)

Mother's Day -- you'll usually get a dinner / cake / big lunch / breakfast in bed.. SOMETHING but it has to do with sweets or food

Memorial Day -- yep, it's SUPPOSED to be about remembering those... but we turn it into a back yard BBQ/beerfest. YEEE HAWWWWW

July 4 -- backyard BBQ

Father's Day -- (see mother's day above) -- this is usually more elaborate because it's planned by a woman however. :)

Labor Day -- see Memorial Day above

Oktoberfest -- Bratwurst and Beer -- a drunk heart attack... yeah buddy!

Sweetest Day -- does youre sweetie really even observe this?

Halloween -- candy candy candy -- and you KNOW you're only buying the crap you'd eat yourself -- which means you buy it WAYYYY too early and then have to buy more because by the time the 31st rolls around, it's all gone.

Thanksgiving -- this is just a given...bunch of stuffed turkeys snoring through football.

and then, of course,

Christmas.... again, all about the meal..

Our lives are intricately entwined in this love/hate relationship with food...and when you're on some stinking point system dictating the guilt of every morsel that passes between your lips, it literally sucks ALL of the joy out of eating. Eating used to be a pleasurable, exciting, multi-sensoral experience for me and now, it's just like... I guess I'll eat that. blech. It royally SUCKS... all of those low cal frozen dinners.. SUCK... everything coming from a restaurant... good GRIEF it's like more than DOUBLE the points of what I'm allowed in an ENTIRE DAY! So what's a girl to do? Drink lots of water, eat my greens... and just shut the hell up until I"m back down to 120. Right? Just sucks the joy out of my day. I used to like food... now I just look at things and think of numbers and guilt. is it better to just be fat and happy? I don't think there's such a thing. Because if I just eat what I want... then I'm depressed because I haven't lost the weight from Drew.... if I can't eat what I want, I'm depressed because everything is so freakin limited... so I guess right now, it's just the downward spiral of depression because you have to eat to live... but I'm sick of tasteless, tree bark, and fat free burritos... there's only so much one person can take? How in the hell do these women DO IT?!

And then you've got those women like Rachael Ray -- little hooker -- cooking online and saying "everything's betta with buttah" -- well, yeah, who the heck DOESN'T just love cooking with butter, but no, you're not supposed to use THAT... use olive oil or canola oil or something else that is an acquired taste... don't use butter... and use REAL cheese... she says it's a healthy meal -- ??? if you added up points -- points points points freakin POINTS! I hate points! -- I"ll bet they'd just top the entire day's consumption in one meal.

At MOPS on Wednesday, Shauna gave me a website.... it's a fellow WW enthusiast who's gone through and put nutritional data from zillions of restaurants on her website so you can see just how bad eating out really is...

Here's some examples of the poitns MY favorite meals have:

Macaroni Grill - Pasta Milano - 27
Macaroni Grill - Caesar Salad - 8

La Madeliene - Tomato Basil Soup - 7.5
La Madeliene - Chicken Friand w/mushroom sauce - 12.5
La Madeliene - Strawberry Napoleon - 13.5

McDonalds - Big Mac - 14
McDonalds - Fries (sm/med/lg) 5/10/12
McDonalds - Bacon/Egg/Cheese biscuit - 14

Oh... and I get 20 points PER DAY.... I could go on but you now see how depressing eating can be. I'm going ot go stare at the cheetoes in the pantry... back later

Oh my aching butt, back, arms, shoulders, abs, calves...

I did it folks. I started back at the gym on Sunday and took a Body Blaster class (well titled!) as my introduction back into the world of physical fitness. The gym I attend is a woman's only gym and even though I'm not one of the morbidly obese -- or even obese... you still can't help but single out the skinny chicks while you're walking in and secretly hope to force feed them butter! The class was great... I left there sweating, exhausted, exhilirated, and all that other stuff. I'm on my way to being where I want to be again....

Then day 2 hit.. that would be my Monday class -- Step and Sweat -- also title was very suitable. Only, they need to say -- hey...are you new? well, don't even try this. I was a girl that took jazz, tap, ballet, gymnastics... I know dancing... i can follow routines but these freakin step classes are for THE BIRDS! I got the standard one foot up, second foot up, one foot down, second foot down. Piece of cake... then they start throwing in mambos... boomerang (WTF is a boomerang? I thought it was a movie or a piece of wood they used in Australia to mess with stupid Americans!)... and they're like walking "Travelling" as they call it from front to back...straddle.. ok... got that... after all -- who hasn't had to pee in the wilderness... you learn the straddle quite well in those situations. But when you're trying to follow someone else's lead and then they do some fancy turn, stomp stomp, single, repeater, boomerang crap...then everyone is facing you and you just stop and smile watching her feet. I tell you... I've never felt so COMPLETELY uncoordinated in my life. Ever seen Houseguest with Goldie Hawn when she took the "dance" class... that was WAY tame compared to me! :)

Then Tuesday rolls around... the good ole guts and butts class... OUCH... needless to say I didn't make it up at 5:30 am today for my 5:45-6:45 body blaster class this morning... this sore, tired, decreped old geezer needed some R&R!

American Idol

I'm hooked! BUT, I hate how all the shows oversensationalize EVERYTHING now adays! That being said, however, I can't imagine how it must have been for everyone to meet Stevie Wonder. Then, Simon Cowell says that everything sounded very much like karoke versions of his songs....does he really think it's easy for country bumpkins to sing the soul filled ballads and wavering pitches of the great Stevie Wonder? I voted -- Andy thinks I'm a total cornball for voting but I did.... Chris Rocked! and I liked the grey haired guy too -- forget his name ... but he's got that Joe Cocker / Ray Charles thing going on and he's just a joy to watch. I think having the 3 judges on the show is kind of stupid when they really don't matter in the end... but hey... it makes for good tv huh?

It's so hard to say goodbye...

Today is the day Josh leaves... he becomes so introspective on these days... so quiet... so depressed. He hates going to his sitter's house up there and always fears he will have to. He hates leaving home and cries... sometimes uncontrollably for extended periods of times only interrupted when he realizes he needs a tissue. It's so hard to witness your little ones in emotional pain.

I go through my own sort of depression but have to keep the positive, mommy face on. I tell him I'm so sad when he leaves but the sooner he goes, the faster he comes back and that I know he'll have a great time and get to see his family up there and then he can come back home to reality. I think he wants me to be sad with him ... maybe he thinks if I"m not sad like him that I won't be missing him... it's so sad.

Andy took him to the airport.. I don't do real well with them (always cry)... he even got to walk him on the plane this time. How fun was that... AND his bag didn't make it AGAIN... I swear the airlines are SO .... there's no word for it...but it's true that the bigger you get... the worse your customer service is because you're too big to please your customers and also to big to care.

Drew and I spent the morning at a neighborhood St. Patty's Day Party... it was fun. I ran into quite a few of my neigbors... Drew was overdue for a nap so we left a little early... but it was a good distraction. :)

Open House with cow poop

It's that time of year again when the schools stay open late to showcase your kiddo's hard work and learning efforts...so you can feel like your tax dollars are really benefitting something in the grand scheme of thigns (ok, unless your kid is in private school like me but you get the point). It was open house at schools across the area....

I took Josh... fresh from T-ball practice. He wrote a book and the front and back covers were laminated... it was about his Robot and him... it's funny to read that and his journal because everything he writes he puts "I like ____(insert noun here)____ but my mom doesn't" It was such a consistent pattern, I felt the need to inquire about whether he just thinks I dont like anything. I think maybe it's just a sentence he's familiar with so it's good journaling fodder. Wow, 6 years old and already using repetitive fodder! lol whoda thunk it

Then we get to see his salt map project. I took one look and said... is that a cowpoop? He looked at me slowly with the "who farted look" on his face and said... no mom, it's a mountain. LOL... I was laughing so hard and said.. I'm sorry... I didn't read it... you did a great job on your mountin there big boy! LOL... I think this will be one of those little projects that you just say... SMILE... take that photo and send it to file 13! :) I love him but giant cow turds made of salt really aren't my idea of a keepsake. :)

BBQ Birthday

Josh, Drew and I met my mom at Spring Creek in Irving for her birthday dinner before Josh left for Iowa for Spring Break... it was nice but going out to eat with Drew... if you don't just wolf it down like it's your last meal for weeks.. you will NOT get to finish it because when he's done... he is DONE! So, we ate fast... she enjoyed it.... good food.. happy birthday mom.

Well, I booked it

The Sanity Tour 2006 is officially booked. I called this quaint little cabin in Fredericksburg and booked my isolation room. It's close enough in town that I can find my way around... I got the directions e-mailed to me and I fully expect it will be a weekend of scrapping, reading, relaxing, drinking, soaking and staying in my robe from sun-up to sun-down.

My patience has been worn thin... my energy spent... my cup of hostility to the world floweth over and so I'll be out of here... very soon. :)