Cold chicken

Today was an average day.

Josh had guitar practice before school which means that I had to leave by 7am (instead of the usual 7:30am) to get him there on time. Only today, I didn't just have Josh to contend with -- I had Drew because Andy had to take his car into the shop (yet again).

Drew is my kiddo that is hard to wake up. He has no problem waking up before everyone else, but wake him up before he is ready to get up and you're in for a battle. I'm generally concerned he's going to tumble down the stairs as he tends to just fall out of bed and stumble to the stairs in a half-awake stupor. I try to make sure I wake Joshua before Drew so that I can walk down the stairs with him and hold his hand -- just to be sure of him.

We carpool with a neighbor so she was gracious enough to agree to keep Drew from 7am to 7:30am when they were leaving for school while I took Joshua and then went to pick up Andy from the service department at the dealership and run him to work. Doing all this threw Ben's little schedule (and therefore my attempt at sanity) completely out of whack.

We get home and Ben, obviously, isn't tired since he's been sacked out in the car seat for our little errand filled morning. So, we play. We bounce in the Jump-a-Roo. We play under the play mat. We scootch around the floor in the playroom. We crumble up paper. We bang blocks. I lay on the floor next to him and start to doze off. He starts to whine. I am almost grateful as that means I can go get a nap too. Off to the bedroom. We nap until noon.

Whoops. I remember Andy saying something about wanting to go meet the boys for lunch at school and take my car for a car wash. Yeah, forget all that. It's noon. I jump up, feed Ben and grab a shower while he's in the bouncy chair smiling at me.

I remember the other three errands I needed to do: pick up a costume that had been Freecycled, drop off a check to my MOPS friend Taryn for some Butter Braid Bread and stop by the attorney's office to sign some papers. Then I thought of Andy and him not having a car so I called. "Have you eaten?" "Not yet." "Want me to come take you to lunch?" His office was on the same side of town as two of my errands so it was only convenient for me to think of him. I ran one errand and then picked us both up some Arby's. I love their Market Fresh Ham & Swiss sandwiches. It's made with mayo and spicy Dijon mustard along with green leave lettuce, purple onions and tomatoes (and obviously, ham and Swiss, duh). The bread is SO GOOD! I'm sure it's equally fattening but at this point, I'm okay with it. I was hungry. It was there. It was good.

So, I run my last two errands and soon the boys will be getting home from school. Ben has been in various states of sleep/awake during this journey. His day and nap schedule was all messed up. Poor kid.

The boys come home... we go through backpacks. We look at their Friday folders. We talk about their day. I start thinking toward dinner. Andy comes home. It's the first night of the playoffs with the Texas Rangers vs. New York Yankees. First time in franchise history they've made it this far. Andy, obviously wants to watch the game. I had set out chicken to cook on the grill. Silly me.

He goes and get the chicken going. We raid the freezer for quick to prepare, steamable sides (brown rice, broccoli and a bag of mixed veggies--my favorite). I get our dinners plated up. We sit at the table. Ben is placed in his high chair and given an apple to chew on. I eat my broccoli. He starts to whine. I eat a few bites of my mixed veggies. He starts to fuss. I take one bite of rice. He starts to cry. I realize at that point... he's beyond saving. It's time. I push my plate up some and scoop up the little guy and head to the closet. It was bath time.

There are lots of books that suggest that you not heed to what the baby's want rather, you make them adapt to your schedule. While this may sound good -- in theory -- the reality is that it's really hard to enjoy your meal when your child who has had his whole schedule turned upside down with errands, having only one good nap, lots of noise and little else... wasn't going to make it pleasant for anyone at all. I appreciate the input of these so called "experts" but each child is different. Each little tummy is different. Everyone doesn't fit into the same utopian mold that they tend to think exists.

So, we run a bath, he splashes and plays and this lasts a good ten minutes. I hear water running in the kitchen. I know dinnertime is over for the boys and the clean-up has begun. I hope that they don't just assume I'm finished and clean my plate because I haven't made a trip to the store to get myself anything else to really snack on and fill up if my dinner is trashed.

I towel him off...
I watch his little smiles as the terrycloth tickles his legs and toes...
I diaper him... Size 3... Elmo is on the front...
I dress him in the cutest pair of fitted, snap up Gymboree jammies covered with earth toned jungle animals.
He starts the "mmmm.... mmmm.... mmmmm" noises that means he's needing something.
I carry him to the wall. Press the light switch. In a slight click, it is dark.
We lay on the bed... he is placed closer to "my" side so that if he were to roll.. he rolls into his co-sleeper. I prefer him next to me, however.
I pop in a "mute button" and his eyes immediately close as he turns to the right with his back facing me and falls asleep.
It happens that fast.
I lay there for about 15-20 minutes to make sure he's good and out and then get up to find the big boys in the playroom watching "The Game" and my dinner, now cold, still sitting where I left it.

I pick it up and head to the computer to read a few blog entries of my friends while I enjoy the few bites of dinner I had left.

Then it hit me... although it can be rather annoying that I'm generally the one who misses out on warm meals simply because I know these cues that my babies exhibit. It's a blessing and a gift that God has given me to know these cues.

When you know that you're able to recognize these signals and KNOW what they mean you've evolved. Even though, sometimes you have to realize, you'll be eating cold chicken for dinner.

Five Question Friday

Rules for Five Question Friday: Copy and paste the following questions to your blog post, answer them, then link up to My Little Life (below)!:

Questions for Friday, October 15th: (Special thanks to Jill, Twitter inspiration from Kate,Bethany, Dianne [no blog], and one from the handy deck of random question cards, for their question suggestions! If YOU would like to be linked in a future 5QF, c'mon over to my community and offer up your best question suggestions!)


1. What is your favorite Halloween candy? I think I've spoke before about how it seems each major holiday seems to have its own candy stamp in my brain. Christmas has the taffy-like peppermints that have the little Christmas tree in the middle and burgundy stripes around the edges. Valentine's Day -- box of hearts! Easter - Cadbury eggs. Halloween -- Brach's melocreme pumpkins. They're candy corn flavored pumpkins. I love 'em. I don't typically have a problem with walking by the Halloween candy bucket without grabbing something. I tend to go after the "candy" and Andy goes after the chocolate. His favorite -- Snickers.


2. Do you fold your socks? As a matter of fact, no, I don't. I DO match and ball up the boy's socks. I got sick of so many orphaned socks in their drawers, I won't even send a pair up to their rooms to be put away if it hasn't a mate. I keep a plastic "orphaned sock box" on the laundry room counter. It's overflowing.


3. What is something that you wish you had been warned about? Hmmm... depends on when in my life. I mean, I wish I'd been warned about a lot of things but then if you think about it -- if you'd been warned, you'd have changed something and then life wouldn't have been the way it is now. It all kind of works out in the wash. Yes, I over-think things. :)


4. What is the most significant difference between you and your significant other? He has a penis and I do not. Bwa ha ha ha... OK. Sorry.... It's really funny as I'm NOT a grudge holder and don't feel the need to get even with people because I figure they have to answer to God just like I do but he can and does -- both. However, when it comes to disciplining the boys, he has been given a graceful touch. He is level headed and calm and lets them know they're still loved.... talks about what they've done, etc. I just tell them I'm ready to sell them to the gypsies and to leave the room before I beat them to death and tell God they died. :)


5. What are three words you would use to describe yourself? (And, just for fun...if your significant other is around, ask him/her what 3 words they would use to describe you!!)
Me - busy. I'm always doing something. I find it hard to sit and be idle. Caring - I go out of my way to care for others' needs and wants. I care for my children. I care for the children in my care. I care for the animals, the environment, the teachers at the school. I care. Goofy -- I'm just a dork. LOL. There's no way around it. I'm a big goof ball.

I will edit with the Mr.'s answers when I get them from him.

The Most Important Meal of the Day

I'm a cook. It's one of the things I really enjoy doing. I love to select the fresh ingredients. I love pouring over recipe sites, cook books or just experimenting on my own to create the perfect dish. I like creating a repertoire of menu items that I can duplicate without thought to feed my hungry brood. I have, however, struggled with breakfast. You know, breakfast -- the most important meal of the day. That's what they say, isn't it? Whoever they are, they say that. So, with that bit of knowledge I take that as my challenge to create delicious, healthy, savory and sweet meals for breakfast since it's so important.

I have several dishes in my rotation. Drew's favorites are generally bread based -- my little carb lover. He enjoys things like homemade waffles (we don't buy Eggo's here), pancakes (again, homemade), and French toast (to die for!) Josh enjoys a variety of breakfast items and generally never complains about anything. He likes biscuits with gravy (homemade, of course), bird's nest (toast with fried egg in the center), any kind of my assortment of breakfast sandwiches and, well, generally anything egg based. The child loves eggs.

Andy, he's so wonderful and is always just thankful and gracious to have a breakfast plate prepared for him...whatever it is. I don't know for sure what he really likes best. Perhaps I should ask. I know he likes omelets but I truly suck at those so I don't even try. Burned eggs stink. And frankly, aren't omelets just like an open-faced, smothered and covered dish of scrambled eggs. The only difference is that they're not in a cute little wrapped up little egg burrito. I'd feel bad wasting those chickens' hard work on burned omelets.

I don't suppose I have a favorite breakfast meal either. I mean, I enjoy breakfast but I'm fond of simple things like plain waffles topped with warm berries (because when you nuke them to defrost them (I buy the frozen combo bag) they create this delicious natural syrup so you don't need any maple syrup on it at all (less calories! Bonus!)) I like really GOOD granola and plain vanilla no-fat yogurt topped with a sliced banana. I crave strawberry-banana smoothies (no fat here either!) and I love the sugar-free Carnation Instant Breakfast chocolate shake mixes...and toast. Toast. Toooooast.

Other dishes in the rotation are more simple, others are a tad more complex. Regardless the skill level, I look forward and take time each Sunday to plan out what we'll be having so that I'm prepared.

Rarely do I ever use any kind of pre-packaged, canned items because after starting to read labels, it's scary all the "stuff" they put into our foods that we just blindly consume. Have you ever SEEN the labels of your food? Can you even pronounce half that crap? Yeah, me either!

However, items like cinnamon rolls are still canned because I haven't figured out how to make them in advance so that we can still enjoy them hot and fresh and me NOT have to get up at 3am to make them (so they have time to rise). If you HAVE a recipe that is freezeable or even make-ahead and store in the refrigerator, do let me know!

I also make a mean Aztec quiche. This is a new one to the rotation as Andy told me he didn't eat quiche. Actually I think he didn't want to eat anything that was named "quiche" but trust me, he eats it! Can you be a manly man and still enjoy quiche? I guess that's the question of the day.

Generally speaking I try to make a hot breakfast at least 5 days a week. Since school started, however, Fridays are cold cereal days because Josh has to leave for school at 7am (guitar lessons) which means madness for me if I had to prepare a hot breakfast and get people down to eat it while it was still hot. I think I may, however, start making breakfast in the crock pot the night before so that we may have a hot breakfast on Fridays, too.

Saturdays here are usually home cooked and we're in a (horrible) tradition of buying donuts on Sundays. I think I'm going to change that rule and have us only buy donuts two weekend a month. They're hell on my diet! Seriously! Ungh!

The funny thing, however, is how seriously I take my "job" as a mom and provider of morning fuel and nutrition for my boys... when I can't ever remember eating breakfast as a kid during the week (unless I was at my grandma's.) If I had stayed the night at Mawmaw's she'd wake me up and what I wanted for breakfast. I'd answer, "I don't know," and she'd reply, "Well, I'm all out of that." It was a silly little breakfast banter we did just about every day. However, the conversation usually resulted in either biscuits and gravy with Jimmy Dean sausage, or "belly button" (over-easy) eggs and toast.

So, at Mawmaw's we ate breakfast but during the week at my house we just slept as long as possible. However, Saturdays mom went ALL out at breakfast. We had fried potatoes, eggs, bacon, toast -- the works. During the week -- not so much.

I just think of how many things have changed since I was a child. I don't ever recall hearing how important it was to feed your kids breakfast before school. I don't even know if any of my friends had breakfast either. I'm sure some did but I know lots that don't.

I remember a few times eating breakfast AT school and how cool I thought that was. I loved school but I hated going to school early and going into the cafeteria to wait at the red and blue tables for the bell to ring... and having to suffer... sitting there... smelling the toast they'd made. Oh the glorious toast they had at Townley Elementary! Perfectly crisp on both sides, thick and buttery. They had great toast. Great toast. Toast is one of those childhood memories that I hold very near and dear to my heart...

Toast? Yes, toast. That simple act of baking a slice of bread... and sharing it with someone you love just takes me back...back to my MawMaw's kitchen table (my dad's mom and my favorite grandma). Lots of times at night, before bed when she needed to take some medication, she'd take one of her round silver cake pans and she'd slice a roll or two and toast them in the oven for the both of us. If we didn't have rolls, we'd even used hot dog buns.... any kind of bread toasts up just fine. Simplicity at its finest. We'd have a small glass of milk and a nice piece of toast slathered with real butter -- none of that sissy stuff! We'd share some great conversation. I'm sure it was full of the most important topics of the day. It was a great memory and a great tradition I shared with her. I loved that one on one time with her.

The other day I got to share this memory with my boys... about how I love toast. Monday morning was a little chilly so I made some oatmeal for the boys for breakfast. I had sliced up some fresh strawberries and had those in little bowls next to their oatmeal. As they found their way to the table, I was bringing them some toast. Josh received the first two slices from our four-slot toaster. He likes his bread buttered, just like me. Drew is a little different -- he's not a fan of butter. His toast he eats dry. (Yuck!) Since Drew only wanted one slice I was left with the dilemma -- do I let this piece get cold, butter it and wait for Andy to come down or heck, should I eat it? I chose the only knowledgeable thing to do of course -- I ate it! I smeared a little pat of butter on the toast and then took one crunchy bite and instantly was taken back to my grandmother's oval cherry-wood kitchen table that was covered with some seasonal vinyl table cloth that had been purchased at K-Mart or Gibson's.

It was then that I professed to my children that, "I love toast." Then, I shared with them why. They both just smiled and took it in.

I hope they are building some kind of fond memories from the kitchen with their grandmothers... even if it's not over breakfast... but over some other meal. I think when you're creating a tradition and a memory with your children and/or grandchildren THAT BECOMES the most important meal of the day. Don't you agree?

Monday Mayhem

Welcome to Monday Mayhem- the best place to be on the slowest day of the week.
Today we are celebrating the five best pieces of advice. For each prompt, give your best advice. Be sure to have fun and visit the other participants.


1. Someone playing this meme has music playing on their site and it is disrupting what you have playing on your computer while you play this wonderful meme. What's your best advice to people who auto-play music on their site? Just say no! I love music, too, but I know that a) it can be a major pain to others visiting the site and b) it can sometimes slow down page loads. If you ARE going to have it on your site, be sure to put the access to it at the TOP of your menu so that people can pause the music if they don't want to listen to it.


2. What is your best advice to someone thinking about getting married? It depends on their age. If they're under say--at least twenty-five years old, I'd tell them to really make sure they're READY. They're under no hurry to do anything... live a little. Learn who you are and what you want and do things YOU want to do before you're committing yourself to never being in charge of just you ever again. Once you say "I do" it doesn't become about what you want and what you need, it's about giving yourself to the other person and doing what's best for them. I'm not necessarily saying be a self-centered, narcissistic ego-maniac... I'm just saying to experience LIFE before you get to a point you might not be able to do the things you really want to because of another person being in the picture. Or, better yet... travel with them and get lost. You never know someone until you've been lost with them. Or... tangle up all the Christmas lights... and then let them unravel them... how do they react? LOL Another one is never expect them to change for you. You have to love them, bumps, bruises, warts and wrinkles and all. No one is going to change after you get married.


3. What's your best advice for someone wanting to purchase a new phone? Have fun! Ha ha. I am so ridiculously technically challenged that no one would be consulting me on phone choices.


4. What's your best advice to offer to the younger generation? Quit expecting everything to be given to you on a silver platter. You have to pay your dues and earn it. Appreciate what you have. Listen to your elders. Don't lose your integrity in chasing a dream. Never settle.


5. What's your best advice for anyone wanting to buy a car? Get what you can afford and be practical.


6.What's the best advice to give to everyone? Be the peace you want to see in the world. Treat your family and friends the way you'd expect a perfect stranger to (isn't it odd that sometimes we're so cruel to the ones we love and if we saw a stranger treating them the way we do -- we'd beat some tail!) Spend time with your little ones. UNPLUG from the television and plug INTO your family. Exercise. Quit eating like crap. Share. Love.

5 Question Friday

Rules for Five Question Friday: Copy and paste the following questions to your blog post, answer them, then link up to My Little Life (below)!:

Questions for Friday, October 8th: (Special thanks to Colleen [Colleen, you need a blog!!], Jesslyn Amber, Chrissy, Nel, and Tiffany for their question suggestions! Wanna be linked in a future 5QF? If so c'mon over and offer up your best question suggestions!!)


1. What do you listen to while driving? This is really one of those "it depends" questions... if both my boys are with me, if Josh is with me, if I'm alone... all different answers. Typically when Drew is in there, the TV is on Disney and so I listen while he watches. If it's Josh, we rock. If it's just me, sometimes nothing at all. When you're a mom of boys, you learn quickly how hot a commodity silence is.


2. What is your least favorite thing about Fall? Waiting for Drew to decide what he wants to be for Halloween. Or, that I know I will see less and less of Andy until football is over.


3. What does your dream house look like, inside and out? An old (but new) farmhouse with a wrap-around porch... cozy, weathered yet warm... homey...


4. Would you ever own a minivan? I ALWAYS said "no" but as of April 2010, I have eaten those words.


5. Do you wash new clothes before wearing them? Absolutely... gotta get the cooties out!

Come join the fun each Friday at My Little Life

Blessings....

On days that are trying (like today) it's easy to overlook the many blessings you have.

I have the blessing of watching Ben's amazement as I pour water out of a cup and let him try to catch it in his hand.

I have the blessing of watching him get excited and kick his feet and wave his arms and hands and have his feet wind up with one atop the other waiting for my next move which sends him back into this little fit of excitement.

I have the ultimate blessing of waking up next to the cutest baby on the planet... feeling him roll next to me to cuddle and snuggle. Drew's already 6; I know how fast they grow up and DON'T want to snuggle any longer.

I have the blessing of having an 11 year old who longs to please me... and how I can see the disappointment in his eyes when he knows he lets me down. Why is that a blessing? Because he wants to try to do better.

I have the blessing of watching Josh develop new friendships.

I have the blessing of listening to Drew sing bible songs in the backseat of the car instead of wanting to watch television. That does my heart good.

I have the joy of knowing that my boys... are mine. All mine. Forever and ever and ever.

Just let it go...

I'm not one who has a tendency to hold onto anything that makes me mad, upset, sad, etc. I just say my peace and move on. I just want to feel as if I've been heard and then I can be done with it.

I have been involved in Scouting since Joshua was in first grade. I was the den leader. The Pack I was involved with was a highly active, volunteer-intense, parent-involved group. I loved it. I saw not only the benefits of having my son involved in this organization, I saw the benefits of being a leader and mentor for these boys. I do feel that many children today miss out on getting out in nature. They're inside on their butts fondling remote controls. They're not active. They aren't learning how to be good stewards of our land doing that. They aren't getting any leadership experience. They're not recognized for their reverence. Scouting is that... and SOOOO much more.

Every year, however, as the boys grow older, many of our involved parents were attritioning out with them. Then, a year ago last February, the last of our many involved parents left in mass exodus. At that time, I was wearing more hats for our Pack than I want to admit. I was the newsletter editor, I was the activity coordinator, I was the Cubmaster, I was the Assistant Cubmaster, I was the webmaster. I was the photographer. I was (for a while) the Committee Chair, I was -- in essence -- Pack 317. It wore me out. It stressed me out. I did not enjoy that because while I was all that, I also was still my son's den leader.

Finally one person stepped into be the Awards Chair. Another stepped in to be the Committee Chair. The Awards Chair informed me that she was interested in being Assistant Cubmaster. I was elated. So, the Committee Chair told me he hadn't had a chance to prepare much of an agenda. I spent the better part of three hours prepping an agenda of what all needed to be covered, got the calendar finalized, got the agenda finalized for the membership rally. I knew what needed to be done and was prepared to hand it off in bits to anyone that was willing to take it on.

I show up at the Committee Meeting and basically felt like I was verbally raked over the coals. HE didn't follow the agenda. He didn't address the calendar. HE didn't go over the upcoming summer activity. He didn't do anything but basically tell everyone there how horribly the pack had been run and how the over abundance of e-mail that had been coming out was running everyone off. I felt like every time the Committee Chair made mention of me it was not in any sort of a positive light. I mean, he came out and said how he appreciated all I did but now I was "relieved of my duties as Cubmaster" and he basically said that I inundated people with information and they were all sick of it. HE even went so far as to suggest that I was the cause of people leaving our Pack. Every time he was speaking of the "vast amounts of e-mails" he would never make eye contact with me.

I had lived and breathed and been this Pack for so long... I really just felt like they could all just go straight to Hell in a hand basket. I left there not really knowing what to say but feeling completely and utterly blind-sided. I vowed from that moment on, I was done. And, for the most part, I have been.

After much thought, the main reason for my discontent was that I had been nothing but 100% transparent with everything dealing with the Pack and for them to not only spring that on me that I'm "relieved of my obligations" but that basically they felt like I was doing a crappy job... I felt like a lot of the ideas that he was presenting as HIS ... WERE MINE! They were ideas I'd been preaching all along that no one seemed to see. It was just pathetic.

So, I haven't been to another Committee meeting since. I have no intentions of going back to another one. Leigh, my good friend, was asked to lunch by a group of the ladies involved and they were picking her brain during lunch -- about me. Honestly, I'd prefer not to be the topic of any conversation unless there is someone there that would go to bat for me and on my behalf. Don't talk about people unless they're there to defend themselves. THey were asking her if I was mad. No, I'm not mad (any more). I just got my feelings hurt. I'm sure she told them that. They did tell her that it could have been handled better. You bet your ass it could have been handled better. And, to top it off, I never got an apology. I think that would have made a world of difference. It really would have. I don't think you ever outgrow the need for an apology when someone has wronged you -- and knows they did! The only thing she seemed to let slip when she was talking to me was that they said something to the effect that I just couldn't let it go or let to of it. I have no PROBLEM letting it go but I wanted to be there TO LET IT GO to someone with whom I could HELP if they had issues rather than just let them screw up and let the Pack suffer for it. I was the most highly trained person on the Committee. I knew the rules. I knew the contacts. I have no problems with change of ANY sort, but at least hear why things were done the way they were so you knew WHY things couldn't change or some things SHOULDN'T change.

I got to thinking yesterday and I called Leigh. I'm trying to lead my den on their trek to the Arrow of Light. We will be there by January. They only lack a few simple tasks that will be done in the next couple of months. After reaching that, generally the culmination of events is the final Blue & Gold banquet where the Pack recognizes the Webelos II as they receive their Arrow of Light awards and say bye to the Pack. When I called Leigh, I let her konw that I have decided not to attend the final B&G banquet. I don't feel that Josh will miss anything. At that time, he will have already bridged over into a Troop. He will have already attended a cross-over AND have received his Arrow of Light. The B&G --at that time-- will be strictly for show of the people in Pack 317 and I don't feel the need to be part of that.

I am choosing to spend my time, talents, efforts and attention on genuine people and a Pack that will appreciate me for what I do and what I'm willing to do for the sake of Scouting. I don't play political games and I don't take kindly to being kicked in the teeth when I've done everything I possibly could with the cards I was dealt. So, I have no alliance with them. I'm a member of that Pack as a den leader. I will see that my boys are taken care of as best I can until they cross-over and then I'm done. I don't feel the need to do anything other than that.

Leigh had mentioned to me (I think on accident) that they wanted to do a surprise something for me. At first, they wanted to do a surprise baby shower but that never worked out (which is good, because, after all, I have THREE BOYS... I have ENOUGH boy stuff!) Then they wanted to do something else surprise and I just basically feel like... if they tried to do anything now, it's just because they're trying to say they're sorry in a public way rather than do it personally. I won't let them have the joy in that. I Don't want their attention. It's too little too late. I'm only involved at this point because I have to be for the sake of the boys. I don't want their surprises or their lies. I don't need anything but for my boys to cross-over so I can be done with that Pack.

Honestly, it may sound as if I'm bitter...but it's not that. It's just that I feel they're not the people they made themselves out to be. They're representing themselves as genuine and they're not and I choose to not be involved with riff raff like that. As far as I'm concerned, I'll pray for them but, as it stands, I'm done with them and, I guess it'll just be a surprise for them to see that I HAVE just let it go.