Thursday, August 31, 2006

Drew hits a high note

I took Drew to the doctor this morning as a precaution hoping that he'll be well enough to attend preschool NEXT week since having a low grade fever, barking with a pflemy cough and not eating doesn't seem quite conducive to having him participate in extra-household activities. :) His ears were checked, I don't believe his throat was but he said that it's just a cold. So... cough syrup and motrin were the prescription (what I'd already been doing)... no ear infection which was good news for me!

Unfortunately, however, that meant he'd miss gymnastics as well. Josh and Drew both have gymnastics at 6 pm. I had Andy meet me there to pick up Drew so that Josh could still attend and then he brought him back to me an hour later when Josh's class had finished. When he brought him back, his cheeks were flushed and he was BURNING hot. I was like???? He's sick??? He's burning up with fever? I got home... his temperature was ONE HUNDRED AND THREE! I was livid... why do men just not "get it" and then they wonder why we feel like they're completely incompetent when it comes to parenting. I was seriously irritated. It's just one of those things, I guess, where you just go... figures... and just move on with your life because there's nothing you can do about it anyways. That's what I did. Poor kid.

Josh, however, did AWESOME at gymnastics... he got to ring the bell again for accomplishing a task to perfection -- meaning he'd mastered a task. They get to ring this big gold bell and everyone in the gym claps for them. It's way neat! I just wish he'd quit worrying about me watching his every move and just concentrate on the task at hand and stay focused. I think he likes my undividied attention though so I oblige him. :)

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Crawling the WALLS!

I have a sick 2 year old... missing his 2nd day of preschool...can you say I'm CLIMBING THE WALLS? UGH!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


That's the sound I'm hearing right now... the sound of my big fat Boston Boomer sawing logs -- no, I take that back, he's knocking down petrified forests! That boy can snore!

Much has happened in a week. On Monday the 21st I began my carpool (take and pick up with my neighbor). I went to my first PTA meeting that evening. While on the surface they really seem like a lot of superfluous fluff... they really DO do great things for the school. I like the fundraisers they're doing this year for the school - Entertainment Passbooks and wrapping paper! :) Love me some Sally Foster wrapping paper!

Wednesday the 23rd I went to Drew's meet the teacher. It was fun. He's in a class called the Kangaroos. His first day was SUPPOSED to be today (for 2 hours just to learn his class, teacher, etc.) but he woke up this morning barking like a seal. So, snotty boogery nose + cough = no school.

Thursday the 24th, I took Sam and Josh to school...drove Drew to MDO and then went back to the school for the "Newcomers Breakfast" It was neat and informative. I went and had some much needed me time and then went and picked up the little man. We had gymnastics that evening and Drew did SO good this time! :) They have this big pit of purple foam squares and he sat on the rope swing and did the 1, 2, 3 DROP and just laughed and laughed.... they had a little obstacle course for them set up... he loved that. So, he did good and we'll stay there! After that was the initial kick off meeting for the Cub Scouts for Josh. We met Shannon and Jackson in the cafeteria... we have a pack of 4 so far and I'm the leader. I was kind of voted in because I'm the only one that doesn't travel. Do I look forward to camping when I like room service? Um.. no...but I suppose I can manage. LOL We got Josh all signed up and came ready for bed and I was not too far behind!

it's amazing all the stuff I do just to stay busy... I wrote it all out

Children's Field Trip Chairperson - GCS Mom's League
Craft Club Coordinator - GCS Mom's League
Parent Volunteer - Hidden Lakes Elem. school
AWANA leader - church
Cub Scout Leader

I just signed up to sell Close to My Heart scrapbooking supplies

am probably going to sign up to sell Taste of Home Entertaining as well as Heritage Builder books

I signed up to help out with being the room mom for Josh's school b/c I don't know if a lot of people DID sign up to do it (don't know how many other stay at home moms there are - we'll see)

I'm in MOPS 2 wednesdays a month...

I just actually am starting to feel good about being so busy! :)


Monday, August 28, 2006

Still a mass

I went back to the doctor today... another ultrasound and another confirmation that the mass on my ovary / cyst is still there. I have to wait another 2 weeks and go back for an invasive ultrasound to see if it's shrunken any. If it has, we'll watch it... if it hasn't or if it's grown, we will wait 2 weeks and I'll go back to the doctor's office.

Keep me in your prayers....this is very unnerving. :( I feel like a walking / ticking time bomb just waiting for it to rupture sending me to the E.R.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

On another planet

Josh went to a birthday party today for his friend Sam at the Grapevine Mills Mall - -they had Lunar Golf... it's pretty cool..the entire place is black and they have "blacklights" so that anything neon or white glows.. the sticks and everythign is all striped and glowing... they had a good time. I went to Fuddruckers -- they have the best milkshakes... and I looked through a new store there -- The Children's Place. I need to go back there and get a few things for Drew...

Boy it seems like no one there spoke English... it's quite disturbing to me.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Our home has grown

by four feet...

Josh needed a purpose and so today MY PURPOSE was to help him find his "happy" again. I went to the Forney Road Shelter in Dallas to find him some joy.

I wrote this letter of thanks to the Shelter:

I just wanted to say a big huge THANK YOU to your staff. I went in today with the hopes of adopting Sugar Sugar who I saw at the Fort Worth Home and Garden Show. She, however, had a tad bit of a cough so I opted for the one that was her crate mate – who was in cage #22… We’ve named her Sadie. I bought her for my 7 year old to help deal with the loss of our beloved Gidget – little female Boston Terrier that we had PTS on 7/31 due to skin cancer. My other Boston is probably going to be put down relatively soon due to a diagnosis of lung cancer and his inability to fully inflate/deflate his lungs with ease.

I looked at several pooches and these two just really tugged at my heartstrings. I’d gone in there with the intention of adopting a larger dog because I know the cute little ones are always the ones that adopted and the big ones are usually left to euthanasia. However, having a young child in the home, I just didn’t want to take the risk YET of adopting a larger dog.

The staff was so wonderful to work with… after walking up and down the aisles and shedding a few tears over their heartbreaking desire just for love and affection… I chose our little Sadie. She was so quiet, timid and reserved – almost like she didn’t want to get too excited for fear of being rejected. But that’s just the one that I was looking for. She slept all the way back to Keller… and I took her with me to pick up my son for school - - boy was he ELATED!

We already took her to the vet and bought her some yummy smelling shampoo, gave her her first bath, found an afghan and a fleece blanket for her to snuggle up in … and she’s just already become one of our family members. J I just feel so fortunate to have found her.

I hope to come back and save Sugar Sugar as well… so if she ever goes on “the list”… please PLEASE call me. We’d like to get accustomed to one new family member at a time.

God bless you all for the thankless jobs you have…. Even though the unconditional love you receive isn’t verbal praise… I know those tail wags, offered paws and licks isn’t going to fill your bank account and resume but it will certainly fill your heart. Thanks for helping those that can’t help themselves.

I’ve included a photo of Josh and Sadie we took today. He couldn’t be happier.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I'm having a bad day

I’m having a bad day, the title says it all. Yes, I woke up on the right side of the bed. I didn’t sleep through my alarm. I was ready in time.

The cervical infection I have I fear is getting worse – not better – even though I had a round of strong antibiotics. I have a compressed disk or something in my lower back that just has me in pain every day when I wake up…and lately throughout the day as well. Leaning over to pick up Drew just hurts. That’s no fun. Do I want to go in to the spinal doctor and be given more bad news? Sure… just pile more crap onto my happy-fun-sun shiny day. I have an appointment tomorrow with the ob-gyn and I am not expecting anything short of “it looks very bad”. I just physically feel that not well right now. I don’t feel “okay”.


My oldest Boston Terrier – not that I have more than one anymore as he’s the only Boston I have – but when I DID have two, he was the eldest of the two. He’s been getting progressively worse with his respiration problems. First, it was coughing up phlegm. I’m glad that phase went away… then it seemed that it was only when it was really cold or only when it was really hot. Lately, he’s just been having troubles all the time. He pants a lot and really seems like he has to push to be able to empty air from his lungs. He’s wheezing and sounding like my grandfather did when he was dying from emphysema. So, I did what any caring pet owner would do –I called the vet. I got him an appointment for 9 am today.

We arrived on time, got checked into the room. Drew tries to hold his little leash and we talked to the vet. She checked him out and thought it’d be best to get a chest x-ray of him to see what we’re looking at/for. So I left Boom there and took the little man and went home to wait for her call.

In the meantime, Drew and I had a snack of some pretzel sticks. It was time. Thor walked over to me and normally I wouldn’t hand feed this dog to save my life – he’s quite the ferocious eater but he very calmly and gently took each little pretzel stick that I gave to him without eating any of my fingers. He knew I was in a fragile place.

The vet called about 10 am and said she was glad we did the x-ray as there is something showing on his left lung. It’s either a massive build up of fluid or a tumor but since it was an x-ray and you can’t differentiate liquid from tissue that there is no way to be 100% certain but that there definitely was something there. She was going to send the film off to an internist to view them and give a probable diagnosis but in the meantime suggested he be put on a diuretic to help dry up some of the liquid. After he views the films we can work out a plan from there but the only definitive way to determine what it is would be with a sonogram which is $300-$500. They were going to get his Rx ready and I could pick him up by 10:30.

So, at 10:30 I packed the kiddo in the car and we headed up to pick up our fat boy. I paid and they also brought me a bag. I tried to remain in denial and did a good job until I got I the car and looked over knowing what the box contained.

I turned on the Wiggles to change my train of thought to anything other than where it was going.

We got home, I got the little man settled in and then brought the white bag in from the car and set it on the counter. I didn’t want to fully admit what it was but I knew… it was Gidget’s ashes. I removed the simple cedar box from the bag and placed it on the counter. I opened the lavender envelope containing the sympathy card signed by the staff at the vet’s office. I ran my finger over the brass plate engraved with her name and then just melted onto the kitchen counter. After a moment, I carried the small box to my room and placed upon my shelf by a photo of her. I think I know too soon that little box will turn into two. I went into the bathroom for a tissue and literally felt ill. Was I going to throw up because of my nerves, my stomach or something I ate? Is my stomach that badly messed up?

Isn't it crazy to think that all the importance we place on status and numbers and things and superfluous shit that doesn't matter, in the end, we all have the potential to wind up just like Gidget... ashes in a box. What's truly important is what you leave behind... your legacy. She may have just been a little dog but she still touched people. Drew still calls for her at cookie time... he still looks for her in the back yard. Josh is still in a fragile place realizing the finality of death and knowing that some sicknesses can't be healed. He has even dreamt that we put him to sleep because he was ill. I have my moments but I've been doing much better with the loss of my fur friend. But knowing that someone is missed just makes their star shine even brighter in heaven...because they've touched someone.

In the end, I want my body back to normal ... clean and "disease" free.. healthy with no damage to my reproductive organs... I want health -- it's something you take for granted until it's gone…I want my dog to live… I want my son to be joyful… I want my other son to eat… I want to not worry or be stressed and just be happy. Happiness… that’s not too much to ask for! But, I guess right now isn' tmy time. Right now, I'm being punished for something...

Wednesday, August 9, 2006

Our Future's So Bright...

We gotta wear shades!

Isn't this picture just to die for?! That's my two little guys... Josh trying to squat down to fit in the picture with Drew and of course, since Drew saw Josh squatting what did he do? Why SQUAT of course! Both had Oreo lips (Drew's still shows) but they're just so darn cute!

Today was Joshua's first day of school. I went upstairs about 7:15 to wake him up and get Drew up and motivated and he was wide awake just waiting to get up and get rolling. I think he was quite excited. Usually it's a little rub and a little pat... a few words... then pulling the covers off him and coaxing him out of the bed but today he just hopped right out. He went straight to the closet and picked out his favorite green and white striped Tommy Hilfiger shirt and finished getting ready while I tried to make enough noise and say "Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooornin" loud enough that Drew would (sort of) wake himself up instead of me having to wake him up. Unfortunately, he's like his momma - you wake me up before I"m ready toget up and I'll just grump your entire day right out the door. And let me tell you he CAN! I call him Napoleon. He may be small, but he rules the roost!

So, I went downstairs and finished breakfast -- started that about 6:45 (school means there goes my "sleeping in" -- if you call 7:30 sleeping in) ---- biscuits were baking, bacon was crispin and the eggs were scramblin. Top the eggs with a little shredded cheddar cheese and those boys had a great breakfast --- Drew, of course, didn't eat any eggs but he liked his apple-cinnamon Cheerios, bacon and biscuits. Throw in some milk and that made a pretty good meal -- for him, anyway.

I made sure the troops were eating and went to fix my hair -- ok "fix" is a bit strong... lol.. it's more like, blow dry and run a curling iron through the ends. I'm almost as low maintenance on stuff like that as they come -- I hate maintenance of any kind for just about anything. Maintenance sucks.

I got Josh's supplies all ready, gave him some money for lunch, had him grab his backpack (are you suppose to buy them a new one every year when their old ones are just fine? I didn't. Is that bad?) I was ready to take some First Day of School Photos!!! :) I got my trusty Canon Digital Rebel and headed outside with my boys. Drew and his little buzzed head, JOsh with those big green eyes (he had to change shirts b4 pictures b/c he apparently can't keep the slobber in his mouth when he brushes his teeth. LOL... UGH) I snapped away... got lots of great shots -- or so I thought. I thought to myself while drew was taking a nap later in the day -- I need to upload his pictures from this morning...go grab the camera and there IS NO FREAKIN MEMORY CARD IN IT! I said a few choice f-bombs directed at myself and just realized that the first day of school is still the first day of school regardless of if the photos are taken before or afterwards... so I got some after school instead!

I gathered all the goods and into the car we went. I live less than a mile from school... it's probably just a little over 5 or 6 tenths of a mile.. .and it took us like what felt like forever to get there... we walked into his class with about 3 minutes to spare. His teacher's name is way jacked up so she goes by "Mrs. P" (her name has about 20 letters in it and is like 7 syllables!) She's super cute though -- just married into an unfortunate name. I'd have just kept mine! LOL... j/k I've been there once with the name thing... Gregorsok --no one could pronounce that either. I'm like.. it's pronounced just like it looks... Greg or sock without the c of course. But people would just jack it up left and right... finally when telemarketers would call and just stumble over it I'd be like, "I obviously don't know you but appreciate the call... have a great day. CLICK!"

I came home and Drew and I had a great morning...we played in the Play Doh.. we did puzzles.. raced cars, watched a movie, had a snack, he helped me do some laundry and the dishes... (help is a tad strong but he was an active participant)... then it was time for a nap so away he went... and I was actually right behind him. Last night was rough and I didn't get much sleep. He slept from about 11:30 to about 2:40... I was about 12:15ish (few phone calls interrupted me) to about 2:30ish.. it was nice. woke up a few times just from being too darn hot but I'm trying to keep the a/c at 80 so the bills will not be so astronomical. UGH though.

We went to get josh. He got out of school at 3:30. I left the house at 3:15....and sat in traffic until 3:54 to pick him up. It was -- not surprisingly -- a TOTAL FREAKING zoo... Oh my GOSH thank GOD for my DVD player and Pooh's Heffalump Movie or we wouldn't have made it. I will NEVER do that again... Frankly, I'd rather walk the entire way there and back. That's just beyond retarted. I know lots of parents were walking their kids in the first day ..and probably will the first few days to make sure kiddos find their classrooms (school is big) but the picking up is, again, a zoo....

I had a good recommendation to make the day special with ice cream so we headed straight to Sonic but josh didn't want ice cream -- he wanted a grilled cheese sandwich, cheese tater tots and a cherry limeade. LOL.... and of, course, no ice cream and no dinner later either. I said, 'no way Jose!' and instead got him a small order of cheese sticks and a sonic Reece's cup blast -- they really are quite stingy with their -- whatever they blend in -- Dairy Queen like hooks you up man... Sonic puts in like 5. I even got Drew a dish of ice cream -- he normally won't eat it at all...but when we got home, he at it ALL! I was FLOORED! Probably because he was starving -- I just realized he didn't eat lunch... he woke up and we went straight to get Josh. Guess I need to set a time table up for us too.. he needs to eat l unch at 11:30 THEN nap... ok... mental note to self, make sure your children are fed! Gosh now I feel horrible... I wondered why he totally scarfed his dinner down tonight like he hadn't eaten all day.. ROFL.. probably because HE HADNT EATEN ALL DAY! OMG I'm horrible! UGH! Great - now I have guilt!

Josh said his day was great. I had him try to call his dad on the way to school - no answer but he left him a message. He never called him back. Mimi and Grandma both called him today to wish him good luck on his first day.

I made scalloped potatoes with ham and broccoli tonight for dinner... Drew had ravioli... like 8 of them! LOL... because he was STARVING... and he ate some string cheese (not much, but it's a start) and a biscuit.... drank his milk up ... it was pretty good. I like quick meals like that from time to time.... and I'm the casserole queen. If I can get it all in one dish... give me the recipe! :) The crock pot is my friend! :)

Boys went to Mimi's for a while tonight so she could see Drew's new "do" (I gave him a buzz)... and Josh could tell her about his day.... came home and bedtime for the masses. I even think it's bedtime for me.. not feeling so hot. Don't know if it's the infection (is it back?) or something else but I'm not feeling well (stomach)... cramping up and such. Yes, I'm worried and quite paranoid about the whole thing but what's done is done and there's nothing I can do about it... just go to the doctor on the 17th and hear what they have to say to me. Good/bad/ugly.... I will handle it just like I do everything else -- go drinking. LOL.. j/k! That's SO far from the truth it's not even funny.

Oh well... I got the little peopl ein bed and now it's time to go watch my show... So you Think You Can Dance--- It's TiVo'd :) love the tivo man! :) LOVE IT !


First day of school

Well, today was Josh’s first day of school… we sat in line in traffic for about 15 minutes just to be able to park 2 blocks from the school to walk him in… I took some GREAT pictures this morning before hand – then realized that my stupid MEMORY CARD WASN’T IN THE FREAKIN CAMERA! Yes, I had some choice words for myself this afternoon. Lol… and then he got out of school at 3:30… I left the house at 3:15 to go get him… and I got to the front of the school at 3:50 – traffic is that bad… Girls – I LIVE NINE TENTHS OF A MILE FROM THE SCHOOL….

I think from now on, I’ll walk! Good GRIEF Charlie brown… but I don’t look forward to doing that when it’s over 100 – esp with a 2 year old and the potential to be changing poopie diapers in the grass off the sidewalk to/from there. Blech!

Isn’t that CRAZY?!

Friday, August 4, 2006

A shopping we will go

Well, it's "Tax Free Weekend" here in the wonderful state of Texas (that's a joke hon... there's not much wonderful about this place). The boys and I got up... age some Lucky Charms, I hopped in the shower and away we went. We went to the North East Mall and hit Foleys... a couple of shirts, couple of t-shirts, few pairs of socks and we were off to The Gap Kids... love this store... cleaned HOUSE! We got camo pants, chinos, 2 pair of jeans, shoes, shirts, underwear and a jacket. The clerk gave me 30% off the entire sale plus no tax... and I was FINISHED with my shopping! Two stores and he's stocked and ready for school! After that we hit the cookie store (like I needed to do that) and then headed to the car. Of course, once we were all buckled in, I realized I'd forgotten to go by JC Penney's and pick up their pictures taht were ready on 7/31 (a little busy that day though) so we drove around the mall and hopped out, ran in and grabbed those... hit Jack in the Box on the way home... ate lunch... put the little man down and voila... time with Josh... he wanted to play Clue, then to relax, then to see if Austin was home... he doesn't really know how to entertain himself much. Sometimes, it's kind of irritating.

Ever had one of those days where everything just seems to irritate you beyond belief? That's me today.... I just haven't been in the mood to be alive today. This infection thing is bothering me -- how bad is it going to get? Is it better? Am I permanently damaged? Will I be able to conceive again? Is my cervix going to require removal of cancerous cells again -- will they be able to get it all? Then there's the always being at home because it's to freakin hot to breathe outside -- that bothers me because contrary to popular belief, I do like to be outside, but not when it's just so Africa hot that it's just ... why shower? I like to be clean..? But you shower and get ready to walk outside and turn into a stinky sweat box. I hate taking multiple showers a day.... doing hair and makeup requires too much time (not really but enough that it irritates me to have to do it over and over again) but who wants to go out looking like crap because you're too lazy to do anything... it's such a catch 22...why do I give a flip? I have no idea!

Then... my little dog is gone.... I am getting better... but I have moments.... like today when her photos that I took of Josh and me and Gidget came in the mail. I still remember that last big hug... and her nervous little tail... and the guilt that fills my heart.

I hate living in Texas... ok -- hate is a strong word -- but I'd give up half of what I own to live somewhere that is more conducive to actually being outdoors... my "one day" just isn't ever going to come... so when do you be proactive for the things YOU want instead of being on everyone else's agenda? I feel today like I'm going back down that spiral faster than I ever did.... I hated being that low and have no clue what's triggered it off again today... but it feels nothing will satisfy my desire for happiness. When does my happily ever after start?

Today has been a day of trials and tears... and I'm ready for it to be over with. I'm in a daze so I'm going to much for scrapping.. I"m just not in the flippin mood.

Thursday, August 3, 2006

Buh buh buh

It's not me humming the tune to my favorite song... it's not how my car sputters down the road... this is one of Drew's favorite movies... the Incredibles. He's got the syllables down... just not much else. So it's buh buh buh.

Mr. Incredible has a line in there that I just love -- and feel like much of the time. It's dialogue between Mr. and Mrs. Incredible after he gets busted coming home late with rubble on his clothes -- a little workout he says (he knocked down a building) and she's furious because they're supposed to be living on the down low... and she says: ... I can't believe you don't want to go to your own son's graduation. To which he replies, "It's not a graduation. He's moving from the fourth grade to the fifth grade." And she retorts, "It's a ceremony!"

and his reply is just genius!!!

"It's psychotic! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity..."

That is so true...

Just wanted to share! Wonder what superpowers I'd want if I could be a superhero...

read minds (probably be pissed off at everyone all the time huh?)

fly (couldn't ever wear a skirt again)

become invisible (that could be interesting -- only if you could be ghostlike then and go in and out of walls and stuff)

be stretchy (help with childbirth - no stretchmarks either! LOL)

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

Dallas World Aquarium or BUST!

Well, the housekeepers came early, I hadn't picked up the house (so they could vacuum). Josh had a sleepover the night before so the living room was tent city, I had to get ready, feed the boys and be out of the house by 9:15. Could I possibly do it -- with a smile? Heck yeah! But then as I was backing out of the driveway...the garage door won't go down, I realize I have no cash and no gas. :) LOL... so the 9:15 turned into 9:35. Lisa, Jackson and Wyatt met us at the Chevron and we caravaned to DWA in downtown Dallas. I walked in and was immediately drenched in sweat. It was quite disgusting. I hate to be hot. I hate sweat. I hate humidity... I want to live in the mountains...where even if it's 98 during the day.. it is in the 60's at night. How perfect would that be? Where in the winter it really does snow...and you can see this beautiful white blanket coating the world.... but I digress...

we made it through the DWA... got to the bottom.. didn't get to really view the fish or penguins much because Josh decided to play at breakfast and not eat anything so he was bugging me about every 30 seconds about being hungry. Drew was whining "eek" (eat) and giving the sign language sign for it as well so I knew nourishment was a necessity. We stopped at the SNACK BAR and it was TWENTY FOUR dollars... for 2 chocolate milks, a cheese pizza, nachos and a fruit bowl. Good GRIEF! Next time I'll bring it my darn self! I couldn't believe that!

After lunch, Drew was ready to plow (binkie in mouth, reclined in the stroller, head to one side, ready to crash)... Josh stayed late with the Shogrens and then Drew and I left and headed for the house. He went down at 1:30 (a record for him I think - watched Garfield all the way home). Josh came home quite a bit later. After that... Drew got a 3 hour nap... woke to go to Mimi and Pops and run run run (and get eaten alive by mosquitos)... and I went to Rockfish and had crab cakes (YUM-O) and ate pecan crusted trout with a cold Hefe Weisen! Good stuff Vern!.... Very much needed after the start of my week. The only problem - - they served it on a little skillet thing (like what fajitas would come on) and the heat that was radiating from it just made me start sweating like a freakin pig the point that I was quite uncomfortable. i finished early and was like...get this away from me. It was weird..

seems like my entire metabolism changed lately... I get hot flashes at night where I used to be a chilly willy all the time... (that sucks) and then at dinner... the hot flash... if I didn't know better I'd say I was having menopausal hot flashes... oh I could only BE so lucky! UGH I hate having a woman's body with all the CRAP that goes along with it! I'd trade this for a kick in the nuts once a month any day! (as long as I could keep my kids! LOL)...

Got the boys... Josh and Drew finished watching the Shaggy Dog... it was nice to get out -- I like to do it once a week at least... for my sanity's sake. Girlfriends are the best at helping keep stay at home mom's sane because we all understand one another's psychosis. :) ha ha!

Tuesday, August 1, 2006

Drew searches for his little dog...

The day was okay. I tried to keep my mind off things... entertain my kids... get into the Play-Doh. Josh made several sad faced comments about wishing Gidget were here.

I know it's not the same for him as it is for me... b/c she was my little lap dog. When I got pregnant with Josh and her lap disappeared... I became her leaning post. :) But we all grieve in our own way. He likes to talk about it and just make comments like that so that we know that he's thinking about her.

We broke out the game of Clue and I tried to explain it to him... he won the first game little booger!

Evening came... and went and it was time for bed. Time to make the dog's dinner bowls. Drew was invited to help. BOO-NAH (that's what he calls for Boomer).... and DOOOR (Thor)... and then he starts calling for Gidget.... (DID-GEE)... I"m in the laundry room ... and just immediately look up becaues I totally did not expect that... he realized she wasn't there...and he started to my room to look for her under the bed...and then when he was told no, she's not in there... he went to the back door and started hitting on the glass wondering why she wasn't coming... calling to her... and when he was picked up to go upstairs and just divert his attention elsewhere..he was crying and calling her name... he was devestated we'd forgotten to feed her... I lost it...

It certainly is different without her here... I miss her presence. It's in the moments of silence when I wish I heard the little tip tip tip tip tip tip of her nails across the floor looking for me... once she'd find me.. her little crooked tail would wag and she'd lay where she could see me out of her good eye (she was quite blind in the other).

I know that time heals all wounds...but when you feel like you've let down some"thing" (body) that depends on you... it's just hard. Boomer sounds quite bad... my little TB dog. I need to take him in... just don't know if I can right now. Anymore bad news with my "kids" and I just don't know what I'll do. Boomer is my favorite in that he's just so sweet... he's what every dog should be like... he loves to have his belly rubbed... loves to eat... loves to sleep and if you scratch the little spot above his tail... he wiggles his butt and bark/howls ... goes... brrooooooooo ooooh. LOL... it's funny! He's got such a great demeanor. Granted, he's quite the crotchety old fart in his geriatric years, but he's still just a big lug... He'll wrestle around on the ground... and then if you say "Ouch" he'll stop immediately and look away like "oops sorry!!!" He's such a smart dog. Don't know if he'd hear ya say "Ouch" now unless you screamed it -- deafness.