Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Clarifications on KISS and funny J stories

OK... now *** I *** wouldn't be the one taking J to see KISS... on no. I like them, don't get me wrong. I even had the KISS dolls as a youth... but if you frequent my blog... that's not so much my thang anymore. Nickelback is Saturday...I'm still thinking of going this Saturday. :) I LOVE NICKELBACK! :) ... but no, I wouldn't be the one taking him.

There is a funny story about how J got started with his fascination of KISS. When I first had married Andy and J had shortly thereafter started soccer, it was quite chilly one morning and so I didnt want to take infant D to the field, Andy took him. Being that it was early and J hadn't had a chance to really wake up, Andy said to him, "Come on... lets get some aggressive music on and get our game face on." Some kind of attempt to pump him up and get him ready to play.

radio... nothing... 1st cd... nothing.... 2nd cd... nothing... 3rd cd... KISS -- and what song? Lick It Up. LOL

When I was told about that when he got home... I was just saying, "Dear God please don't let my son go to his private school teacher singing Lick It Up and furthermore, please don't let him ask me what they ARE licking up." Since then, he's grown to appreciate the music, not read so much into it (like I'd be worried about him asking what songs mean) as he hasn't entered that phase of dissecting phrases to pick out the writers true intention. Though I look forward to some fun conversations about that... ha ha... NOT!

Which brings me to how I am parenting him in issues that prove to be a bit uncomfortable to discuss.... taking D to preschool the other day, I turned on the radio to KISS FM 106.1 because they generally have some top 40's music on or some discussion relevant to present issues taking place. Typically they're not discussing something that little ears should be shielded from so it's "safe" radio. I don't worry about them calling someone a bad word or using bad words even in conversation. So the DJs are Kidd Craddock (sp?), Kelly Raspberry, Big Al Mack, Psycho Shannon and ..??? someone else whose name escapes me. Anyway, Kelly has a very country accent. She is quite eloquent, however, so don't let the accent fool you! Typically when they're having a dicsussion about something that Kelly feels so strongly about, Kidd loves to use this voice changing thing and really razzes Kelly. It's a bit he does frequently. . . and my boys just LOVE it. They just roll in the car laughing about the silly things he says when he's acting like Kelly's alter ego, conscious or someone giving her hell.

Well, this particular day (last Thursday to be exact) we were in the car and Kelly was discussing how she went to Target and was just chatting with the clerk. And realized that after all that she purchased, taking them up on their offer -- you know the one you get every time you're at Target, "Would you like to open a Target card and save 10%?" Well, she had about $250 worth of merchandise so that's a full $25 and of course, she took them up on the offer. Again, dealing with a fussy kiddo, filling out application, yadda yadda yadda. Basically when she left, which she was in a hurry to do... she left a bag at the counter. She had to run a couple of errands and when got home, she realized that she'd forgotten one of the bags. She immediately called Target and talked to the very person that had taken the bag.... and had RESTOCKED EVERYTHING IN IT? Who would do that... ??? You do'nt restock merchandise someone had purchased? Anyway, she had made plans to return to Target and meet with the person that had restocked her to get the things that she'd forgotten. She was discussing all the things she'd forgotten. Tampons was on the list. And then she made a comment to the lady listeners about how the ones that she liked were on sale at the time... and how everyone should go stock up if they use them. Kidd, of course, seized the moment... talking about how they were the super absorbant ones... they're on sale... they're so super... they're super absorbant... they could suck up an olympic sized swimming pool. And the boys just laughed so hard thinking that this was the funniest thing ever. I heard several times for the next couple of days my boys best Kidd Craddick impersonation how tampons could suck up an olympic sized swimming pool. (Mind you, you HAVE to say that with the MOST annoying Southern accent you can muster.)

So, when they were repeating this to Andy... he asked Josh if he knew what a tampon was. He said, "No." And offered up that he thought it was a big diaper. Andy then looked at me. I asked him if he wanted to find out later or if he wanted to know the truth. He wanted to know so I told him that the way God designed woman, each month the tissue in their abdomen would fill with blood in preparation for having a baby. If there is no egg implanted in the tissue then the blood is then expelled from her body. He says, "so women bleed out their stomach?" I said, "No." He said, "so where does the blood come from?" And this this look came across his face and he was like... -- oh... OH...OOOOOOOOH! (not that he understands taht there are two pathways down there) And I said, "and that's what the tampons are for -- to absorb the blood." He replied how great it was to be a guy. I just agreed.


MaryC said...

Every time I hear the word tampon, I am grateful for my hysterectomy.

But really, this was incredibly funny.
thanks for the laugh today.

chksngr said...

I dread the day I have to explain this to my son...I know he's going to say "EEEEEWWWWWW GROSS!!!! lol