Saturday, March 10, 2012

Rainy day women...

Hmmm... sounds, perhaps like a Bob Dylan song?

I remember as a kid in junior high, my sister would play this song and think she was sooooo cool. I didn't even know what it meant to "be stoned" but if SHE was singing it -- it had to be cool. I idolized my sister and I learned that song at a young age. Proof that just because children memorize things, doesn't necessarily mean they know what the heck they're talking about.

Second point in case. I'm sure everyone's seen this little gem of a movie, right?

Do you know there's a dialogue between the brothers when one calls the other "penis breath?" Gasp?! Can you believe it? Well, go watch it again! I dare ya!

Want me to prove it? Here ya go schweeties:

Told ya so!

Anyway, yeah, that phrase was repeated in my house a couple of times. Until, of course, good ole Mom caught wind of it. She nipped that one in the bud pretty fast. (Can't say I blame her. The worst things my kids say -for now- is "dork" or "butt head".) Typically I just tell them they're getting on my nerves and to go to their room when the petty name calling ensues. I have no time for that. And, besides, it's stupid.

More often than not, I just tell them they sound like whiney girls. That shuts 'em right up. Hey, I'm the only "whiney girl" they have experience with on a daily basis so they must be fairly certain that I know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, I thought it'd be fun to do a snapshot of each in this month since, you know, I haven't in a while and..well, since it's raining -- there's nothing else to do.

Josh - age 12 - grade 6.
  • He has his first girlfriend this year. She's adorable. Her name is Kelsey. She's a 7th grader. They're smitten. It's cute. Puppy love just is so sweet --- and silly. They sent 500 gazillion text messages when they're clearly able to just pick up the phone and talk to one another. I read some of their early text message (because I'm a mom, and a snoop, and it's my phone and I can!) and there was probably a good hour long dialogue about picking out pet names for each other. She wanted pet names because all her friends had them. He was like, "Oh, ok." (that's my charmer!) She wanted him to pick out said pet names. I can hear the echo now... "Bueller??? Bueller?" Ultimately, she suggested "babe" and "baby" but then sent a text about how now they're in bigger trouble because how do we decide who is "babe" and who is "baby." Tell me that's not cute. Gag.
  • He's A/B honor roll still.
  • He went from a size 7 to a 10 1/2 in like NO TIME! His shoes cost more than mine.
  • He just got a Herbpst appliance on and said it feels like he has a "robot in his mouth." He missed a Scout campout because of it. He has to wear it a year.
  • Speaking of Scouts, yes, he is still in it and loves it. The kid loves to camp.
  • He's taller than me. I hate that. I really do.
  • He's stronger than me. I got down on the floor with them and wrestled in the living room the other day and yeah... he pinned me. He's 12. That sucks. I need to kick his ass.
  • He collects knives. No idea why. At least they're small.
  • Since they wear uniforms at school, style is defined through shoes and socks. He loves Nike Elite socks and some Air Jordan look-alike shoes. All shoes he picks out are quite ghetto looking to me. I like plain-Jane tennis shoes. I'm a mom. I'm not supposed to like what he wears, right?
  • He loves classic rock (I did something right there!), Nelly and Eminem. There are a few others but those are the main ones.
  • He's going to the Nickelback concert with me for his 13th birthday. He has no idea. I love it!
  • He loves going to church. Wants to do some mission work.
  • He lives to spend time with his friends.
  • He's a slob. I hear that's normal. I think boys are gross. His room... bleh! I'm a clean freak. Can't compare us, apparently.
Drew - age 7 - Grade 1
  • This child LIVES to play MineCraft. In fact, he's playing it RIGHT NOW with his best friend from school, Josh. We're having a sleepover, you see. They're in MY room on MY bed building a world... that I'll never understand. I've been told it's an engineer thing so the fact that I can't wrap my brain around it makes perfect since... apparently.
  • He likes to FaceTime my mom and apparently has no conversational skills as he (I'm told from Josh) just hangs up on her when he is finished. We need to work on that.
  • He likes what Josh likes as far as music, I think, because he's up there in his room when Josh's is on (sound familiar? Me and my sister? Yeah... he'll have an old school tastebud for sure).
  • The child lives for homemade waffles or French toast in the morning. I hope he eventually learns the beautify of covering it with warmed berries rather than maple syrup but, it'll happen eventually, perhaps, maybe, when the moon is fully aligned with all the planets and it's the 3rd Tuesday in July.
  • The child can't remember to turn off a light or radio to save his life but he can remember if you told him two years ago that you'd give him 50 cents tomorrow.
  • He doesn't believe the tooth fairy is really a "fairy." He believes it is one of God's angels.
  • He reads the Bible. A lot. He loves to have The Boxcar Children read to him although he could EASILY read the entire series by himself, he loves that time together.
  • Hates to take baths... well - showers, really. This is the year that he began taking showers instead of baths. Why? Benji's toys were always in the tub. REAL torture is when you ask him to take a bath the day after he's already taken one! You will witness serious crocodile tears and a full-blown huffy fit. He just doesn't understand why!? For jollies, sometimes I really want to make him return to the shower to scrub some invisible spot that he apparently missed. You get your kicks around here however you can.
  • He watched an episode of Ghost Hunters with Josh and now is afraid to be anywhere in this house by himself.
  • His preferred television channel is something like Sons of Guns, River Monsters and Finding Bigfoot. Otherwise, he is wanting to watch something about "Gumball" on Cartoon network.
  • He's straight A's of course.
Benji - 23 months
  • Oh Benji...where do we start with this little booger? He is in a size 2T for sure now.
  • Still has blonde curls and blue eyes. I love the curls. I'm a sucker for the curls. However, in the morning to WET DOWN the curls, he runs the other way when he sees my hands in the water.
  • He has a hard head. If he's mad, he uses it. He is a head-butter. He thinks it's funny.
  • No interest in potty training. In fact, if he knows it's time for a diaper change, he says "doo doo" and then runs the opposite way. Then, once you catch him, you almost have to throw him over your shoulder like a sack of dog food because it's impossible to pick him up as he goes full-blown "noodle body" and it's impossible to pick him up. Generally, he kicks the entire time. You have to lock him down in a death hold to wipe his butt. It's annoying. It makes my eye twitch.
  • He went from being entranced by Cars to Toy Story and now it's Word World.
  • He goes to Preschool two days a week and I'm thinking about bumping it up to three. He's a handful.
  • In the last two weeks, he has discovered how to empty any type of sturdy container and flip it over to use for standing on. Then he carries said container all over the kitchen in order to rid your counters and drawers of anything unnecessary. That was a fun day.
  • His vocabulary is his own. He obviously has down the "mama," "dada," "dosh" for Josh, "dew" for Drew, "la la" for Lola, "moof" for Moose, "is he" for Sadie. However, he has some words that are just Ben-jish. For instance, "bossy" is "coffee" but it's also "pretzel" and "Pizza." "Yah tick" is chocolate. "Moo me" is "Smoothie" and he loves those. He has milk down pretty good and if you can't understand him, he knows sign language for that so it's fairly clear. He knows sign language for "more" as well and says that and signs at the same time. He knows sign language for "all done" too but isn't always the best at doing that. I am thankful that he has started using the sign rather than clearing his tray by tossing it... all over the floor... all over me... across the table. I'm sure you get the idea.
  • He still tries to eat things sideways which I find just odd. For instance, if you were to have a sandwich before you. You would hold it parallel to the floor (somewhat) and take a bite. Benji eats to the tune of a different drummer -- he tries to chew through the center of the bread if you're holding it perpendicular to the floor. It's quite interesting to watch this phenomena take place.
  • If you break out the camera, he instantly goes into "eeeeeeeee" for "cheese" which is the worst thing to teach a child. I'd rather have no smiles than planted ones.
  • He won't eat eggs. He won't eat oatmeal. He won't eat sausage. He won't eat veggies (other than cucumbers). He won't eat chicken. He won't eat mac n cheese. He won't eat ham. He won't eat a cheeseburger. I'm wondering how he is able to grow at all. I'm sick of wasting food.
  • He loves apples! Those are called "bapple"
  • He loves to play with Duplo Legos, tinker toys and wooden blocks.
  • He's ornery.
  • You can't be on the computer if he is awake. He takes the wireless mouse, spins around and promptly throws it on the floor.
  • His favorite thing to do when he wakes up is sit in his Lightning McQueen chair and watch an episode of Word World, have his milk and a small bowl of dried cereal.
  • He lives to be outside. I'm glad it's starting to warm up a bit so that he can be outside more.
  • If we ever lost his "ni ni" (blankie taht his Mimi made him) I truly believe we would never sleep again.
  • He sleeps in his own toddler bed now. He won't get out of it, either, in the morning or at naptime until you enter his room. Which is quite surprising since the only way you would ever know that Drew is up was from the sound of little feet overhead.
  • It is impossible to go out to eat with him. Don't even try.
  • He has started helping clean up messes. We have been working on drinking from a cup for a while now. He takes a sip and loves to watch it pour all over the floor. But, he promptly knows where to go get a clean towel. Got to love all my clean dish towels on the floor for a small spill, huh?
  • Diaper: During the day: Size 4 Pampers Cruisers. At night: Size 5. I'm a diaper snob. Huggies are made for kids with chubby legs. They always leaked and so I've been a Pampers princess ever since Josh.
And so, that there are the ramblings of this rainy day woman. I'm neither stoned nor vengeful. Just wanted to record that snippit before I forgot the hilarity of it all.

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