Friday, March 9, 2012

Spring break

You'd think me, being the ultimate planner, would have actually planned something for spring break.

I didn't.

I don't care.

I wasn't feeling it this year.

Josh, however, was afforded the opportunity to travel with his best friend to Florida to visit Universal Studios and Disney and I'm excited that at least he is able to go somewhere. Although, he would go somewhere had he not accompanied them on their vacation - Iowa -- and my heart would still be equally as heavy.

Having children is hard.

I mean, obviously having them is hard (and for those freak-minded all-natural "I want to feel all the pain" idiots... you don't get a cookie or a medal for doing that so -- suck it!) I had a near ten-pound baby. I'm petite. Do the math. Epidurals were made for a reason! You try passing a bowling ball and then we'll friggin' talk!

But just the idea of "having" children is so very hard. Your heart really walks around outside your body. And the older they get, the more you realize that you do not swoop in and rescue them from their boo-boo's but teach them HOW to cope and deal. Let them learn life lessons and let them learn to teach others to do the same.

I find the older they get, the more I pray and the more I realize how fleeting time is.

Regardless, when he's gone... the air is different.

Things are different.

Meals are different.

I miss him.

He's mine.

I'm his.

But he sent me a text today and he said "love you too. ur the best."

Big ole sappy crocodile tears welled up in my eyes.

And then I went upstairs to his room... and the whole happy feeling... yeah, it went away almost immediately.

My eye immediately began to twitch. Anyone have a haz-mat suit?

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