Thursday, October 18, 2012

It's Officially Lost

... apparently, I wasn't.

Have you ever had one of those moments where you do something that is SO ridicuslously absurd and  asbsent-minded that you're certain you'd with the million dollar prize from America's Funniest Home Videos should someone actually have the cameras rolling?

You haven't?

Oh... well, you're not human then... move along inanimate object!!

Since I make a habit of pointing out the follies of my fellow Facebookers...

or Wal-Martians...

or those who go Krogering in turquoise bike shorts without underwear...

I feel it only appropriate to allow those near and dear to have a moment to laugh at my expense.  Nothing is too good for YOU, after all, is it?

My dear friend did some computer work for me and I needed to make payment so I was gathering my thoughts, crating animals, bribing said animals with dry, hard, Milkbones when they chose to refuse to crate up, and then the unthinkable happens -- the phone rings.  You know when the phone rings and you're home alone you answer it!  Right?

Well, if you're me you do because most of your conversations when there is someone else on property revolves around diapers, doo doo, milk and rockets.  It's company.

So, I'm engaged in conversation as I continue on my quest to leave promptly.  I jot down the address to my destination (not the directions, mind you, just the address).  I ensure locked doors.  I check the lights. I continue the conversation.  I walk to the garage, open the garage.  I get in my car. I back out.  I watch the door shut.  I drive down the road and then the call is lost.

Dangit!!!  Just when I'm finding out the good stuff, too....

...which, by the way, reminds me of a story about my grandpa -- he was an ornery old fart.  There was one television in that house.  If he came in, it was his. Period.  Exclamation mark.  Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.  It was his and you need to surrender the coveted spot on the couch and be gone.  But this time, I had been watching an old classic and it was at the pivotal climax with about 20 minutes tops left.  He walks in and CHANGES THE MOTHER LOVIN' CHANNEL!  Seriously, y'all, I could have flipped out... but I did what any normal 8-9 year old would -- I cried.  Then my grandmother took me to Braum's and got me an ice cream.  I still never got to see the end.  I'm truly scarred for life I believe.  So, if you ever touch the remote when I'm watching something, be prepared to lose a digit... or a hand... or your arm... or be singing soprano because I'll kick ya square in the kahonas!  I'm big enough now to know you don't screw with the climax!  It leaves you hangin' and quite possibly scarred for LIFE!

(And all y'all dirty minds, get your head out of the gutter.  We are talking literary story lines here!)

Anyways, carrying on...

So, I'm on the phone, I back out.  I drive away and when the cool part of the information comes out, my phone goes dead.  I look down thinking I should just reconnect... BAM

That's when it hits me!

This over-tasked mama walked out the door on the CORDLESS HOME PHONE which apparently loses a connection when you DRIVE DOWN THE STREET!?!



I was laughing so hard... and I was validated that yes, I am officially "losing it."

(It was, however, nice to be under the impression I "had it" to begin with.)

Carry on.


VandyJ said...

Just another of those moments where you find yourself interacting with one object like you would with another similar, but different object. I often do this with books after reading my Kindle. I'll tap the page and expect it to change, but I really have to turn the actual page in a book.

chksngr said...

Oh, Goodness...full on belly-laugh!!! THAT is an AWESOME story!

The Liebers said...

HAHAHA!! Just the other morning I got into my car and drove down the street to the end of the block before I realized I still had my bedroom slippers on! Had to turn around and change since those aren't generally accepted as office attire!! Thanks for stopping by my blog for Friday Fill Ins!

Alexis AKA MOM said...

OMGosh girlie I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one that has done this!! YUP been there done that!

It's great when we can laugh at ourselves ... right? YUP I keep trying to tell myself that!