Fresh back from my trip to Las Vegas...
... some images have been burned onto my corneas are still fresh in my head. As such, I shall share the bountiful visual pleasantries with you.
1) a nearly naked overweight Caucasian male complete with a tenth-month-pregnant belly donning red foil heart shaped stickers over his nipples... and a cloth diaper... driving an electric scooter down Las Vegas Blvd.
2) a aged gentleman dressed as Gene Simmons (think make-up KISS, not "Family Jewels" aged rock star)... driving an electric scooter... down Las Vegas Blvd.
3) Bumblebee (car from Transformers) wearing platform shoes... posing for pictures (and accepting tips for doing the same) on Las Vegas Blvd.
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4) an Asian woman wearing patent leather Tiffany turquoise platform shoes, black tights and a nude strapless bra. Even the bartender said, "She forgot her clothes...and that's NOT good."
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5) not one, not two, but three guys with colored mohawks. And these aren't YOUNG guys... these are like... men in their late 40's early 50's. There must have been a convention.
6) roots, roots, roots EVERYWHERE. If you're gonna indulge in some place, get your roots done. It looked tacky.
7) Women dressed to the NINES... seriously, over-the-top A-list high maintenance women... and their men? They're wearing tennis shoes, shorts and Tommy Bahama shirts. It's just a shame. Either the women are paid for... or there are some SERIOUSLY lazy assed men around. (I'm thinking the latter... because, you know... even being high maintenance they were't trophy girls.)
8) 5' tall Mr. T. impersonator. Seriously... I pity the fool!
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9) 6'2" beautiful gladiator... complete with leather loin cloth and steel helmet... Fremont Street... he was seriously beautiful
10) GIGANTIC plates of over-indulgence at every buffet known to man... it was scary how much people can put away. I don't care HOW much you pay for it.... gluttony at its finest. I guess that's really what Vegas is all about... devouring every molecule of gluttony until it's oozing out your pores.
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11) TOO high platform shoes complete with too young girls that don't know how to walk in them. I don't care how skinny you are... or how great you think Spanx make your ass look, when you can't pull off the walk, you look like an imbecile. Lose the heels, or better yet, lose an inch or two on the heels.
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12) Lights. Vegas has lights... EVERYWHERE... except for in the bathroom of the Venetian. The water closet had the strangest light fixture that seemed to take about 15 minutes to rise to come to room temperature. If you needed light, you best leave the door open or better yet -- leave the light on. Hey, I'm not paying the light bill... I'm okay with leaving it on.
13) Germans. ;)
and one for the road...
14) I've never see the movie "The Hangover" but apparently every male that is a little overweight and doesn't want to shave, think it's funny to dress up like this guy and take pictures on the strip. Boring...
3 comments:
Sounds like a fun visit, April. I've been a couple of times and my eyes are out on stalks. Such a fun/weird place :)
Vegas is indeed a place to see strange things, sometimes you just want to look the other way and erase what your eyes saw, like the first scene you painted for us.
They Call it Mellow Yellow
Thanks for a good laugh. You described Vegas to perfection. And I haven't been in years. The most perfect town in America for a people watcher. How are things going otherwise??
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