Sunday Stealing

It's the start of a new week... Sunday Stealing. Come join us! They travel the blogosphere and rip off memes from other bloggers (who have probably stolen it as well). This is the last week for this meme, yes some of the middle was omitted, trust me you would be glad it was. 

Who Are you? Part 7 – It is Over! Part 7: Self Image 

84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you: When I'm working out it's up at 4:20 am, out the door at 4:45 am, work out from 5-6.  Home.  Make breakfast.  Out the door at 7am to take the oldest to school.  Back home at 7:30.  Grab a shower and get ready.  Wake the toddler at 8am and get him ready for preschool.  8-8:30 is breakfast; 8:30-9 is getting him ready, lunch packed, etc.  Back home and do all things domestic from 9:30-2:15.  Carpool from 2:30-3:30.  Home and then hit the ground running from 3:30-7:30 when the little one goes to bed.  Then you throw in sports, practices, Boy Scouts, Cub Scouts, errands, parties, school crap.  I need a clone.

85. What is your greatest strength as a person? Gosh, this is harder than I thought.  I'm not really sure what I would consider my greatest strength.  I'm very organized, but half the time you'd never know it because at times, I seem quite scatterbrained.  

86. What is your greatest weakness?  The fact that I put myself last... 

87. Are you going to run for President in 2016?  Hell, no.  I'd never want to run for political office.  I'd have to hate myself.

88. Are you generally self-contained?  Yes.  Generally.  Until someone gets to know me...hee hee hee

89. Are you generally organized or messy?  I'm very organized... I believe that the cliche "a place for everyting and everythign in its place" makes for an organized, streamlined process.  

90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at: Good:  cooking, teaching, persuading   Bad:  temper control, filtering my mouth, letting people know when I need help or am hurting inside

91. Do you like your neighbors? Sure.  Do they like you? I don't really care if they do or not.  I can't do anything about it if they don't so I shouldn't really sweat it if they don't.

92. Are you different in public then you act among friends?  It depends on which friends I'm around.  Just kidding.  No, I'm generally a "what you see is what you get" kind of person. 

93. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?  Happiness

94. Where do you see yourself in 4 years?  I don't.

95. If you could choose, how would you want to leave this world?  In my sleep.

96. If you had only one week to live, what three things would be bumped up on the bucket list?  I don't really have a bucket list in which to have items TO bump up.  

97. What is one thing about you that really stands out?  My boobs...they're big.  :o/  (And that's not meant to be funny -- they just are.  It's annoying.

98. What three words best describe your personality?  Bubbly, engaging, fun

99. What three words would others probably use to describe you?  Loud, honest, friendly

100. What advice do you have to give? I only give advice when it is solicited.  

 

30 Days of Thanksgiving -- Day 10

If you're keeping up, and you clearly should be -- if for no other reason than to know the current date -- that it's time for another installment of 30 Days of Thanksgiving. 

As usual, our recap is as follows: 

Day 1: glow sticks
Day 2: Pampers
Day 3: cold weather
Day 4: Canton, TX
Day 5: Q-tips
Day 6: Inside jokes
Day 7: The inexistence of mind readers
Day 8: Wal-Martians
Day 9: Thongs 

And, obviously, this leads us to today -- Day 10. 

Drumroll please.... today I am thankful for anti-depressants. 

I'm quite sure that this is a pretty obscure item to be thankful for.  I am, however, quite thankful for them.  I'm not actually on them, but according to several studies, it shows that in the last 20 years, prescriptions for these meds has increased over 400%.  One in eleven persons over the age of 12 is on them and that's an estimated 27 million Americans!  That's a lot of pill poppers!  

Could you imagine the level of anxiety, strife and agitation in this country should people actually have to deal with reality on a regular basis...UNmedicated?  GASP!

I'm thankful for Zoloft, Lexapro, Prozac, Paxil, Cymbalta, Luvox, Remeron, Effexor, Celexa, Wellbutrin, Savella and Vestra!

What I don't understand is how anyone who takes these would want to deal with the laundry list of side effects: nausea, insomnia, ejaculation issues (not that I would need worry about that), diarrhea, dizziness, dry mouth, fatigue, drowsiness, indigestion, shakiness, loss of appetite, decreased libido, hot flashes, nervousness, sweating.... to name a few.


Maybe with a high enough dosage, users won't feel so bad about shitting themselves while shaking to death in a pool of their own sweat feeling nauseous because their stomach is empty due to the fact that they have no appetite.  They're also ridiculously moody from being exhausted but since they're unable to count the sheep, they stay in this agitated state.  This also means that they'll likely be unmotivated to do much of anything -- especially sex which is due to the fact that they can neither get off nor have the libido to have the desire to do so... which will just  LEAVE THEM DEPRESSED!  Yeah, that's a great circular path of logic.  

I say you're probably better off hitting the damn gym, getting some natural mood altering sweat going for yourself and then trying that out for a spell.  :)  

But, if it keeps your psychosis and crazies at bay... pop those pills!

Saturday 9 - Good Morning Heartache

It's that glorious day of the week where we converge at Saturday 9 for some meme action.  Today's topic:  Good Morning Heartache




1) Do you come up with your brightest ideas early in the morning or late at night? Honestly, I come up with ideas (which could be up for interpretation as to whether or not they constitute "bright") at all times of the day.  My brain never stops.  It's a blessing, and a curse.

2) Are you more likely to feel romantic at night or in the morning? Definitely in the morning.

3) Do you shower in the morning, after work or before bed? Yes.  Hee hee.... I hate it when people answer stuff like that!  I mean, it works, but it's like asking your child, "Did you have a good day today?"  And they reply with, "Yes."  You OBVIOUSLY want more information but they only gave enough to answer your question.  I only do it to get on people's nerves.  So, to more FULLY answer the question.  When I go to the gym, I do not shower first thing in the morning because that would just be idiotic.  I generally shower after I get Josh off to school and then return home before getting Benji up and ready for school.  

4) Billie Holiday was just 44 when she died. Is there an artist whose early demise surprised and saddened you? Nope.  I don't get hung up personally on any sort of artist to truly be affected by their demise.  

5) Billie was known as "Lady Day." Do you have a cool nickname? (If not, feel free to give yourself one right now.) No.  Isn't that sad?  I feel like George Costanza wanting to be called "T-bone" or something.  I'm not comfortable with giving myself a nickname.  I'm fine with "hey you."

6) When was the last time you had the blues? Bleh, do I have to answer?

7) Crazy Sam is eating Trader Joe's Snickerdoodles as she composes this. What's the last snack food you ate? I ate a handful of almonds last night while I was outside with Benji.

8) Do you worry about preserving endangered species? Or do you believe in survival of the fittest? Yes.  Ha ha... there I go again!  I do believe in survival of the fittest but I believe, we, as a species have a responsibility to realize when we are encroaching upon the environments of others and do what we can to protect them.  I think every animal plays a significant role in the circle of life and varying ecosystems and I do believe that wiping out one species can have dramatic results (mostly negative) upon the environment from which they were obliterated.  

9) Would you ever hire a lawyer who runs commercials on TV? Do you know anyone who has? No, and yes.  

Friday Fill-Ins

Oh yes, oh yes...it's time!  Time once again for FRIDAY FILL-INS!  And here we go!

1. One time, I became so irritated at all the candy wrappers strewn about from the Halloween candy that I threw it all away.  Oh wait, that wouldn't be one time...that would be TODAY! 

2. The ache the day after an intense workout is something that makes me smile. 

3. Seven words I love: Let's get rid of the mini van. BWAHAHAHAH!!!  I can't stand that friggin car.

4. I think the world looks so surreal covered in snow; I need to live where that happens more often.

 
5. I looked out the window today and saw Lucy trying to pull something from the "non" dog side to the "dog side".

 
6. I'm craving GUACAMOLE and that's saying something!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to getting my foyer emptied of the clothes that have taken up residence there (purging baby-2T since we're DONE with them finally!), tomorrow my plans include picking Drew up from his best friend's house, going to his last baseball game to take team photos and Sunday, I want to do something just for me... although I don't know what just yet! 

A Month of Thanksgiving - Day 9

Screw the sentimentality of syrupy, sweet sappiness... let's get real folks.  What are the REAL things we should be thankful for?

A recap:

Day 1:  glow sticks
Day 2:  Pampers
Day 3:  cold weather
Day 4:  Canton, TX
Day 5:  Q-tips
Day 6:  Inside jokes
Day 7:  The inexistence of mind readers
Day 8:  Wal-Martians

...which brings us to today.  Numero nueve.  Neuf.

Day 9, ladies and gentlemen... Day 9 I am thankful for ... thongs.

Yes, thongs.  But I'm not talking about those (above).  When I was a girl, do you know that THOSE were called "thongs"!  They are commonly referred to as "flip-flops" now but back in my day, THEY were thongs.    Could you imagine in present day, your mom calling your friend's mom asking if you left your thongs there?  (Thank you, Lord, for blessing me with boys!)

[Sidebar -- I hate that I'm old enough to actually have a "day" to be "back in"  shudders.]

It's not something that everyone is thankful for.  I mean, there are plenty of granny-panty wearing broads out there who really give the whole idea of undergarments a bad name.  Then again, there are those that need to wear undergarments and simply do not which also gives undergarments a bad name but it's only because they choose not to utilize said undergarments which leads you to believe there may be something wrong with them to begin with.  (Wow, that was a long sentence!)

Now, there is a time and a place for all types of undergarments, but today we are addressing thongs because it's my blog, and it's my day of thanksgiving.

Anyway, yes, thongs.  Just laugh it out...soak it in...  You see, thongs -- these wonderful, tasteful pieces of lingerie prevent THIS:

 and...

The dreaded panty line!!  (GASP!)  I don't care if you have the CUTEST pair of panties out there... they become ugly, disgusting undergarments when they're seen.  It's Tacky 101.  What Not To Wear 101.  Get A Fashion Clue 101.

See, even this girl (below) has a cute backside but it's ... depreciated by the VPL (visible panty lines for those of who are not in the know of the undergarment lingo.)  VPL -- remember it.  You'll thank me someday.



I will say that one of my favorite artists won't even SELL thongs at his shows in a size larger than a medium (I think) -- or he didn't use to... There should definitely be limitations to the sizes they will carry for this particular type of undergarment.  Why? Because if your backside looks like a two 100 pound bags of marbles to begin with... pantylines are the last thing you need to be worrying about!  Go for comfort... and go to the gym!

Kid Rock -- you rock!  He doesn't want his name on this.



Now, there are good ways to wear thongs which I really don't think should even have to be discussed because if there are no VPLs and no butt floss peep show, the wearer clearly a) has a clue; b) is going commando or c) is sportin the Spanx.

And, there are bad ways to wear thongs
  a) it's the wrong color, b) it's 2 sizes too small and c) DAMN that's just... gross!

or  or
 Or  

I mean, you know, we are all so very excited that you like to try to slice yourself in half with a wedgie from hell but seriously, we're not interested in your butt floss images burned to our corneas!

Well, most of us aren't.  Some of you freaks out there may like that... I, however, find it tacky.  I'm sure there are guys out there who like this trash.  So, hey Joe Blow, just be sure to have her back to the bar for her set -- it's at 11 at Baby Dolls.  BYOB.

OH, I should definitely mention the fact that I'm only and completely referring to women's undergarments in this entry... because this
and definitely this....  

are just all kinds of gross to me.  So, I could also incorporate into this that I'm quite thankful that the whole idea of men's thongs are really for a very small group of individuals who I think should ALWAYS remain nameless because they're disgusting.  Fuzzy butt cheeks are not sexy in cotton floss.  Never.  Ever.

A Month of Thankfulness -- Day 8

Today, I'm thankful for Wal-Martians for without them, some people would never be able to feel better about themselves... or feel comfortable going out in public some place that isn't as accepting of their species as is Wal-Mart.

I can honestly say that I have never witnessed some of this brand of "strange" first hand, but I know it's out there.... camera phones do not lie.


There are literally thousands of these photos out there.... This guy apparently escaped the set of BrokeBack Mountain to grab some Bud Light.  He seems to have forgotten something, however....


This is one hot pink mess of a muffin top!  You really shouldn't try to fit into your toddler's clothing!  I can only hope that her daughter has a better sense of self worth... and less pink.

She's smiling.  She clearly is a lunatic.  Couldn't you see her frolicking down the aisles in her tutu and tiara without a care in the world?  You can, can't you?  See?  That's why this shit is NORMAL at WALMART!!!  The very fact that you CAN totally envision her being all giggly and giddy about all this friggin tulle is ... crazy. Perhaps you should join her.


He hasn't seen his man parts in the better part of fifteen years, I'm guessing.  If you have to spread your legs apart for the sole purpose to need to let a forty pound fleshy bag of fat hang between your legs, you really, REALLY need to lay off the cheeseburgers and, I don't know, pick up a dumbbell or something.


I've seen far too many people of Wal-Mart with the telltale signs of severe abdominal distress.  How does one not KNOW they have shat upon themselves?  Bleh!


I have also seen many images of the nests of tangled, matted, ratted, disgusting lumps of what was formerly known as human hair.  I don't understand how one simply wakes up one day and chooses never again to comb their hair... that they'd rather have it in one immobile clump caked with a stench equally large.  I fully believe hoarders could hide dead things in here and they'd never know.  That HAS to itch.  That IS disgusting.  She could wear Native American clothing, add a little face to the end and she has some type of ceremonial pelt already attached to her hair!  Now THERE's a great idea!  I bet she could apply for jobs and be given them based on her Native American heritage, too.



This.... took a helluva lot of AquaNet.



Do you see that his pants are two sizes too large?  Hers are two sizes too small.  That is just.... absolutely nasty.  I seriously think the only reason he is with her is because she could beat his ASS if he tried to leave.


Ever amazed at the human body, I am.  Do you see how small her waist really is?  ... and them BAM add about 2 feet onto the hips.  That's just crazy.  Even being, there is a bright orange cone of a person walking with her who should clearly tell her that the crack of her ass is hanging out the back of her pants.  I KNOW YOU CAN FEEL THAT DAMN DRAFT LADY?!  I have seen this in Wal-Mart before and it takes every single FIBER of my being not to throw ANYTHING down the back of their pants for target practice.  IT's disgusting.  YOU CAN FEEL THE DRAFT.... and more importantly, I DONT WANT TO SEE YOUR BUTTHOLE when you BEND OVER FOR PAPER PLATES!  Either lay off the Cheetoes or BUY SOEM BIGGER PANTS!  Just because you can fasten them, does NOT MEAN THEY FIT!


She took the idea of a Sobakawa pillow to a whole new level.  Just sayin'.



Head band? Check.  Lace fabric?  Check.  Jeans with extra pockets sewn on the front in navy?  Check.  Feigning appearance of a bra?  Check  American flag tied around and used to hold up the right boob?  Check.  Appearance of being in deep thought?  Check.  She may be a hippie freak, but... frankly... she's cool... in a creepy-don't-do-that-in-public type of way.  I bet she plays guitar, sits around getting stoned, drinks Jack Daniels out of a Sonic cup, reads everything she can get her hands on and hangs out in the nudist colony with her equally creepy man... the one with the shaved head and 3 foot rat tail hanging down the back... which was tie-dyed.


One hot mess.... literally.


Again with the hair...  and people of size... horizontal stripes are NOT your friend.

Oh look, this is the hippie's offspring!


Get a dressing room...

Don't you all feel quite superior now?

You do?

You're welcome.

:)  You, too, can be thankful for ... Wal-Martians.

A Month of Thanksgiving - Day 7

Today, I'm quite thankful for the fact that people can't read my mind...
because a great deal of time it's quite full of contempt, disdain, animosity and just a general feeling of annoyance at the putrid ignorance that is spewed on a daily basis.  People are stoopid.





(See this?  This is me... in my head... wanting to scream and hit people with pointy objects)

However, I'm quite good at feigning interest in the minutiae where conversations tend to wallow... so if you see me looking quite interested you can rest assured that I have mastered the appearance of being genuinely engaged.

Thankful for the non-mind readers, am I.