Happy Halloween!!

Happy Halloween to all you boys and ghouls!

Halloween.  The day when mothers try to take credit for awesome costumes purchased on Etsy and we celebrate by sending our children around door to door begging for candy.

Truth be told, however, I LOVE Halloween!  It's fun to see how far my kids have come...

Benji, 2012

Carson, Benji, Drew and Hunter, 2011

Drew, 2010

Josh, 2010

Benji, 2010

Josh, 2009

Frightfully yours, 

I shaved my legs as the Royals lost the World Series... and other nonsense

Yesterday was a bunch of randomness... busy day doing nothing.  I was present as the handyman retextured the upstairs bathroom ceiling... this was caused by the "Great Water Heater Episode" bedack in late September.

Around two-thirty, I picked up Benji.  Good report at school.  (This means, he hadn't hit anyone.)  Bonus.  You think I'm kidding.  I'm not.

I drive towards the elementary school.  I listen intently as Benji sang nonsense nonstop as we jettisoned toward the carpool lane.  My friend Manny likes to call me "super carpool mom."  I'm not sure if it's an insult or a compliment, but it is what it is.  No, I don't wear a tie.

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I scoop up one kiddo.  Immediately the annoyance began.  Channel changing.  Screaming.  Whines.  Punches.  Did I mention that around Drew, Benji ONLY speaks "Whinese" and it DRIVES... ME... BAT... SHIT... CRAZY!  He doesn't even know how to carry a proper conversational tone, he only whines... Drew loves this.  I think they're trying to send me to the psycho ward... then they'll start on their father and eventually take over the world one Pokemon card at a time!

And then it happens.  Just as soon as Drew plants his glutes in the seat, I get, "What's for dinner?" 

It's 3:00 p.m. and he's asking me what's for dinner.  

If you know me, not that you do, but if you did, you know that I'm a planner.  You would think I would have a plan.  Usually, I have a plan.  This week, I don't.  I mean, I didn't get the title "super carpool mom" for nothin'!

You know, something else... EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT. before bed -- EVERY NIGHT -- he asks me what's for breakfast.  It wouldn't be such an issue but if I have to wake him up in the morning because he just happens to wake up, walk across the room, shut off his alarm, get back in bed, and go back to sleep..... he asks me again.  I'm thinking it's one of those things that he's just in the habit of saying so he just asks it.  

I know that I should be the good June Cleaver mom (showing my age here, aren't I?  If you don't know who she is, you're young... enjoy it!) So, I should be the doting, ever patient, matriarch who answers lovingly, "Why dear, you know, I just haven't decided yet.  Why not get a good night's sleep and the delicious aromas will waft up the stairs in the morning and awaken you from your peaceful slumber."  

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But I'm like... "Dude, I don't know.... go to bed. MUAH!  Night!"

So, this afternoon when he asks me what's for dinner, I just give him the "Are you serious, Clark?" look and continue driving to the middle school to scoop up one of our carpool kiddos and head for home.  If you don't know the "You serious, Clark?" look... refresh your memory.  It's a constant source of laughter in our home.



On the way home, he asks again about dinner and so I tell him that because he has baseball practice, it's nothing fancy:  sausage, Halloween mac and cheese, pears, cucumbers, fresh cornbread.  That seems to satisfy his curiosity - for the moment.

Detox for about an hour and then head back to the school to scoop up an athlete.  He hobbles out wearing a bag of ice on his hip.  Nice.  I could write an entire dissertation on why I think high school pushing athletes to compete, run and go all out when they're clearly injured is STUPID, but that's a rant for another day.  Some things you can't "push through" because HEY JACKASS... MY SON IS HURT.  But yeah.  I won't go there right now.  They don't care.  I do.  They don't.  Grrrrrr

I do get to exchange pleasantries with one of my best friends, Jennifer, and give her a hug before her surgery (taking place today).  That was one of the best parts of the day.  Truth!

I drop off an extra athlete at his home (mom favors, we are all awesome!), head to the house and give Drew exactly 6 minutes to get ready for baseball practice.  Benji decides HE wants to go and starts putting on his shoes... without socks... on the wrong feet.  

When I explain that he won't get to stay and play because he needs a good night's sleep ... much to his chagrin... because his Halloween party was the next at school, he promptly threw his shoes in the pile and declared he was staying home with Josh.  

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(Oh, hey, Josh, watch Benji for me while I run Drew to practice!  Mkay?  Mkay!)

Drew is my source of ADD randomness.  The man-child is Cliff Claven incarnate (again, if you don't know Cliff, your childhood must have sucked).  

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As we are driving down the road to baseball practice he asks me, "Mom, you know how you said earlier you were going to make Halloween macaroni and cheese?"  

"Yes?'  I reply.

"How do you make **Halloween** macaroni and cheese?" (major emphasis on the Halloween)

"Ummm.... like I always make your macaroni and cheese."

"What makes it Halloween macaroni and cheese?  What do you put in it?"

Finally understanding where he's coming from, I tell him that it's just regular macaroni and cheese but the pasta is shaped like ghosts and pumpkins and stuff.  Then I ask, "Why?  What did you think that Halloween macaroni and cheese was?"

"I thought you'd put stuff in it."

"Like what?  What would you put in macaroni and cheese to make it Halloween macaroni and cheese?"

He thinks for a second and then questioningly replies, "sprinkles?"

I sat at the red light and contemplated that for a second and looked him square in the eye and just said, "ewwww."

His only response was a gut busting laugh.

Hey, Kraft, if you put sprinkles in, we want a cut!  Ya here?  Drew thought of it first!

I dropped, ran, returned, cooked.  Everyone filled their plates and then began the great after supper kitchen clean.  Bleh.  Kenmore really needs to invent a self-cleaning kitchen!

Then, it starts... the final game of the WORLD SERIES!  Exciting stuff, right?  The previous game was a complete shut out by the Royals.  

That's a good thing.  Why?  Because I was rooting for Kansas City.  

Not because I'm a Royals fan, but since they haven't been in a World Series game since 1985.  Frankly, I think they were due.  

Plus, Drew plays for the Dodgers, and they and the Royals both wear blue... (I'm reaching here.  Work with me.)

and I like that song... Royals...



That's a good enough reason to root for them, right?  Well, and I'm from Texas and we have the Rangers and that starts with an "R" so it all makes perfect sense now.

(and I have to throw this in there because I hold no punches!  ha!  That's my Rangers!)

But, honestly, my reasoning is mostly because I really don't like much of anything that has much of anything to do with any California sports teams... other than the Dodgers...

but that's just because I support my son...

as he happens to play on the Dodgers...

but make no mistake, it's the KELLER LA Dodgers that I support... not the "LA" Dodgers.  

Anyway, back to the game... It was a 3-2 game going into the 8th.  SanFran was winning. I was getting nervous so I did what any normal person would do at 10pm.  I took a shower.  I can't stand what games like that do to my nerves!  I'm not cut out for this.  Just make things a shut out or at LEAST more than a one run lead so you don't stress me out over it all already!

But... I couldn't leave it alone, I had the SportsCenter app up on my phone and was watching the play-by-play.  While I was in the shower.  Well, I mean, the phone wasn't in the shower with me, but it was on the ledge right out the door... which I kept opening to keep the screen from going to sleep.

Royals were last at bat.  

I couldn't STAND IT and was like...forget it so I just decided to shave my legs since it's not full time yoga pants weather yet here in Texas.  

(Just kidding, the never looks like that.  I'm not an albino!)

Anyway, back to the game... The run to tie it up was on 3rd base

Two outs... 

aaaaaaand, they lost.  (Insert sad face here.)

But, my legs are smooth and that counts for something, right?

I won't lie.  I solaced myself by breaking into the Milk-Duds.  Yay for Halloween candy that my kid with braces can't eat!

There's always next year... and the Rangers as far as baseball.  But well, yeah, there's also the Cardinals.  Cardinals football.  Not Arizona.  I'm talking high school football and certainly not MLB from Missouri.  

Not that there's anything wrong with that (and I'll say lots of prayers for you if you don't know that reference because you really have had a sad existence to miss the pure comedic genius of that show.)

Snapshots from Instagram

I love social media.  As a stay-at-home-supermom (aka domestic engineer), it's my outlet, comic relief, long distance hug and sometimes the only way I can validate the feelings of wanting to choke out one of my kids. I don't do it, obviously.  I am not fond of orange jumpsuits, but that doesn't mean the incessant whining, hitting, instigating and trivial bullshit that can make your whole world feel as painful as a hangnail, doesn't make me want to duct tape little people to the wall!  Social media provides little moments of validation and reassurance from friends that get it... that get ME.  

That being said, I love Instagram.  It's like Facebook but without all the drama.  Where Facebook is you and your friends... Instagram is you... and the world.

I think I follow more Instagram accounts that are for Boston Terriers than should be allowed but they're SO DARN CUTE!  

I follow a lot of fitness and meal prep accounts as well.  You can never have too many clean eating ideas thrown your way!  Of this, I am certain!

I post some weird randomness on Instagram... so I thought I'd share some of my favorite Instagram posts with you.  

Oh, my feed is on the right hand side, you can find me there or on Instagram @ardriggs

10-08-13 Ben's visit to the ER to have his eye glued back together.

10-13-13 Bumblebee wears platforms in Vegas.

No, I didn't eat the poop shrimp.  Ewwww

Drew getting fit for glasses October 2013.

You get to see how my kids and I communicate.

Snapshots of daily life -- story time with Benji

My girlfriend's daughter said Josh looked like Zac Efron.  I looked him up and did a comparison.  It's close.  I wish I could get Josh to cut his hair that short!

Homecoming 2013.  Josh and his best friend (dates were in the next shot, this was funnier, though so it was blog worthy).

My kids bomb my grocery list.

Benji sleeps like a drunk.

And so does Moose

Trick-or-treating with the littlest Batman.

There are lots more fun moments in Instagram.  That was just a shapshot of last October.  

The expense of children

I think it's wise as a parent to keep a tally on the actual costs associated with having said child so that when they go to ask for more "stuff" you can confront them with the calculations of their actions.

There are reports all over the internet which list the astronomical figures associated with the costs of raising a child.  I'm not addressing those today.  I'm addressing the OTHER costs associated with rearing children.

Josh -- thus far has been the least expensive child.  He cracked my father's large screen television and drew a huge circle around him on the Berber carpet with a purple crayon.

Thor -- While just a dog, he was a destructo 4-legged child as well!  So, he counts!  He's in a box in the bedroom.  (OH, and he's CREMATED! I'm not cruel to animals you jerks!)  He tore up two $100 blankets, peed on my $90 Bjorn sandals, peed on a $80 backpack, tore up a window screen for my bedroom...

Drew -- Drew, being the passive aggressive twerp that he is, wrote in marker on the wooden bunkbed that he was never going to "get single player commands" in MineCraft.  It won't come off... without sanding and re-staining the entire bunk bed.  He also has written on the wall in numerous places in the house including the closet under the stairs.  Drew took a blue self-inking stamp and wrote the alphabet on the carpet in his room.  Two weeks after getting my new minivan three years ago, I was unloading the groceries from the trunk.  This means that the trunk door was open as was the garage door because my car is parked IN the garage.  He just walked inside and hit the button to close the garage door causing the back door of my car to be hung up on the garage door resulting in a scratch down to the metal in about three places.  He's done this not once, but three times.  Drew has taken a monster bubble bath so huge so that it apparently clogged the jets in my tub rendering it completely useless.  It remains unrepaired.

Benji -- Ooooh Benji.... sigh... Benji has put gouges in the wood on the kitchen island that will now need to be filled, sanded and repainted.  He dented my new refrigerator only two weeks after having it installed.  He has put a hole in the wall in my bedroom from slamming the door so hard it bent the doorstop.  He has broken the back windshield wiper on my minivan so now it's just dangling there... mocking me every time I walk by.  He has drawn with a black sharpie marker all over Drew's door.  Benji has shoved about 10 pennies in the DVD player in my car.  He has peeled the wallpaper away in my bathroom by the bathtub.  We don't have any more.  The whole bathroom will now have to be redone.  There is no way to disguise it.  

I'm certain there is more.  I think right now I'd be doing myself a great disservice to list anything further for fear that I'd want to implode my abode and run away to live with Peter Pan.

Moral of the story?  Don't have they kids.  They'll ruin all your shit! 

This kid..

This kid...

This kid is my middle son.  Drew.  I call him Drewdles.  He's my favorite 8 year old.  He's understanding... but sneaky.  Smart and clever.  He's not one to follow... definitely a leader.  

Today we were discussing classes to register for at for the summer session of College For Kids at Tarrant County College.  I told him his best friend wasn't signing up for any of the classes he had and asked if he wanted to change any classes... he said, "No, I like what I have.  I can just make new friends."

I love that attitude!  Don't change what you want just to follow the crowd!  Be a leader.  Make new friends.  I've been in the same boat and made the same choices.  He made me proud today!

Snapshot of Drew...

Drew is almost 7.... and here's a snapshot of him.

• The child is a Legomaniac. He has two under bed rolling storage tubs FULL OF THEM!
• He lives to play with his friends... Jake, Hunter, Carson, Josh, Parker and Evan
• He loves playing baseball. He's shortstop on the Red Sox.
• He has a very sensitive heart but he's also a little toot in that if someone really hurts his feelings, I think before he ran away, he'd punch them in the nose (that's my boy!)
• He loves the Lord and sings Bible songs all the time. "Blue skies and rainbows and sunbeams from heaven...."
• He's a little picky when it comes to food. Not a lot, but somewhat. For instance, he won't eat a taquito (breakfast burrito) but he would eat eggs with a side of hash browns and bacon. But don't put them on bread, biscuits, a tortilla or an English muffin together! Don't you dare!
• He is a Sponge Bob fanatic right now... it's neat to watch the tv phases the kids go through.... for a while it was Phineas and Ferb and now it's Sponge Bob.
• His favorite treat? Chocolate chip cookies, Popsicles or Nerds.
• The child is a numbers WHIZ! He can do things in his head that ... well, it's not NORMAL to do at his age. Seriously, a brainiac!
• He is a skinny mini... he's already gone from a size 6 pant at the beginning of school and he's too tall for the 7s now. I guess 8 slims are where we will be for next school year for pants. I did go ahead and leave the size 7 shirts out.
• He is in a size 1 1/2 shoe.
• He loves doing science experiments of any sort.
• He's reading on a 5th grade level. It's amazing.
• He's going to have a Pirates of the Caribbean birthday party at the swimming pool next month. He's really looking forward to that.
• He was in a photo in a local magazine featuring private schools. It's really cute.
• He wants to learn to play the drums.