30 Days of Thanksgiving - Day 13

Wow, we're getting closer to that halfway point.  I'm not sure, however, that the halfway point of November is truly the pinnacle of our journey together, but it sure makes you think that it's something quite special is coming around the corner, no?  Who cares, right?

As always, our friendly recap in case you've missed any prior installments.

Day 1: glow sticks

Day 2: Pampers

Day 3: cold weather

Day 4: Canton, TX

Day 5: Q-tips

Day 6: Inside jokes

Day 7: The inexistence of mind readers

Day 8: Wal-Martians

Day 9: Thongs

Day 10: Anti-Depressants

Day 11: China

Day 12:  Pickles

and that leads us to LUCKY 13.  Woo hoo!  

I thought of several worthy nouns that would be suitable to be considered "lucky" to be not only ON my list but also "lucky"... however, nothing quite measured up to the idea of SPAM!  SPAM glorious SPAM!  Yes, that's right, I'm thankful for SPAM!

However, not this spam....
   I'm thankful for THIS spam.    Spam EMAIL.  Believe it,it's true!  Why in the WORLD would I be thankful for spam?  It's GREAT blog fodder!  DUH!  Plus, how in the world would I have found out about all the lotteries that I won and never entered?  Huh?  You tell me that!   

I figure that I wind up on many spam lists because of places I've shopped, browsed, etc. where cookies were enabled.  Perhaps it was items I searched for or memberships/subscriptions I've had.  Regardless of how they came to obtain my e-mail address, I'm spammed -- a LOT.

So, lets just take a little looksee and see what in the world I've obviously been up to lately according to my spam folder.

I need to move because there is a CHILD PREDATOR in my area!  (gasp!)

I have lucked out and can get an AT&T smartphone for only ONE CENT!  WOW!

My life insurance needs have increased, so I should contact this company RIGHT AWAY to ensure my family is adequately covered.  If I don't like them, I can contact one of the other FIVE companies that have sent communications regarding the same.  

Apparently, I'm searching for "neglected and lonely" housewives and "hot single babes" in my area.  And "Sexy Jessica" wants me to view her pictures.  Only problem with that is that I fear she may be like something from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.  I'll pass on that invitation .. this time.  In fact, in one window of 25, there were 12 e-mails regarding women.  I think I've been playing on the wrong team all my life?  Perhaps they know something I don't.... LOL

I'm fat.  I need to "lose weight now" with some magic potion... and if that fails, I can always obtain lap band surgery.  I have copious amounts of spam for that.  Way to make a girl feel good for working hard on her body!

My outdoor enthusiast has piqued someone's interest because I can obtain Hunter magazine for only 1 cent!  ;)  Wow, all these one cent deals!  What a bargain!  

Someone knows it's impossible for me to be on time with three kids... so there is a special on watches!  I can get a Rolex for ... you guessed it!  ONE CENT!  Those have to be authentic... especially since I received about 80 of them!  They must REALLY want me to be on time!


Dalworth knows I want new floors.  And they're there to deliver!

Cigars are on my Christmas list apparently because I have not one.  Not two.  But TWENTY SEVEN e-mails regarding them (and that's just the ones I counted).  And, don't we ALL look like this chick when we're smoking cigars?  BLEH!  

I also received one for an electronic cigarette   If you've resorted to electronic cigarettes  you might as well just die of lung cancer because YOU ARE ridiculous.  Get some f'n willpower already!


New job -- Someone apparently is looking to hire me because my skills are in high demand (heh heh..aren't they?)  Maybe THAT is who has had my background checked!  ALERT!  


My credit has also been checked!  Hackers!  Maybe they're the ones that ran the background check because my credit is also in need of REPAIR!!!!  OH NO!  No worries about Christmas, however, because I have about thirty e-mails where I can get a $1,000 loan with no background check and bad credit is okay!  Whew!  I was really sweating that for like... a nanosecond!

I must say that I"m so excited to finally get a reply to my timeshare e-mail I never sent.  

And I received over ten e-mails over BED BUGS!  They're infesting the world!  I can't wait to see the B-rated movie that is going to come out!  (and TELL ME you didn't just get the heebie jeebies thinking about those f'n things crawling in your BED AT NIGHT??!?!?)

Self-made internet millionaires want to contact me IMMEDIATELY to tell me how to score big in today's economy.  Apparently, they haven't done their homework.... I've already been contacted by the Phillipino consulate to be a liaison between someone and their elderly grandfather.  They want me to hold his money in my American account and will pay me 10% for doing so.  Isn't that generous?  Wow, people over there are so trusting.  I"m flattered.  I'll just e-mail this person right now... you know, the one I have never met... and give them all of my banking information. :)  


I'm apparently going to travel to a foreign land and need to learn a new language.  Hmmm... that sounds interesting.  And the best part, this is just ONE of my four e-mail accounts.  I've got more entertainment yet to be had!   

Wow, I live a fascinating, entertaining life through SPAM.  Be thankful for it. You, too, may need the laugh someday.  

30 Days of Thanksgiving - Day 12

Let's just go ahead and start out with the automatic recap

Day 1: glow sticks
Day 2: Pampers
Day 3: cold weather
Day 4: Canton, TX
Day 5: Q-tips
Day 6: Inside jokes
Day 7: The inexistence of mind readers
Day 8: Wal-Martians
Day 9: Thongs
Day 10: Anti-Depressants
Day 11:  China

I just feel all kinds of giddy talking about today's "thankful" item.... because... well, I just love 'em.  

Today, I'm thankful for PICKLES!

Yes, PICKLES!  Those amazingly, crispy, wonderful, preserved cucumbers treated with vinegar and seasonings.... just ready to bite into and make a squinchy face (but only if they're TOO sour!)  

I've seen an adorable little blue-eyed boy try his first pickle and it's hilarious.  (Go ahead, click the link -- it's Benji trying his first one out!)  It's funny, to me, to listen to how he goes from a true laugh to .... I'm not so sure... to.... YUCK!  Ha ha!

Anyway, back to me  ---->  I love all kinds of pickles!  

Dill... 

Sweet Gherkins... 

Bread and Butter... 

These really delicious zesty ones that have a little bit of a kick to them but I can't remember the name... grrrrr..

Anyway ---> You name it!  If it's a pickle, I'll eat it!  Now, please understand, however, that A pickle is NOT the same thing AS "pickled" because people out there are disgusting, vile creatures that will eat refuse that I don't consider suitable for human consumption... they pickle all kinds of disgusting items... pigs' feet, eggs, beets... and the list gets more gross by the minute!

There are specifics times when cooking, however, when you must adhere to the proper pickle protocol (the "PPP" if you will).  For instance, if you make deviled eggs, you must use sweet relish.  If you make Southern potato salad, again, the pickle relish must be sweet.  If you make tuna salad, again... sweet.  We are from the SOUTH... we like our tea and our pickle relish -- SWEET!  Got that?  SUH-WEET!  The other thing... if your pickles are soggy, limp pieces of vegetation... send them elsewhere.  Pickles should have some level of crispness to them.  I'm not talking crunching like a bag of Lay's, I just mean they shouldn't be limpy spears.  Pickle spears should be firm and erect to be enjoyed!  


(Get your minds out of the gutter!  We are talking about PICKLES here!  Well, we were... until I went off course... so my mind must be... anyway.. what were we talking about?)

OOOH... PICKLES!

Fuddruckers has some fantastic pickle slices.  Most fast food establishments, however, SUCK!  

So.. today... tomorrow... enjoy them!  PICKLES!  I'm thankful!

30 Days of Thanksgiving - Day 11

You can hardly stand it... can ya?  So excited, on the edge of your seat just waiting for the next day's little nugget of thankfulness.

Well, wait no longer!

30 Days of Thanksgiving - Day 11 here we are! 

As usual, our recap is as follows: 

Day 1: glow sticks
Day 2: Pampers
Day 3: cold weather
Day 4: Canton, TX
Day 5: Q-tips
Day 6: Inside jokes
Day 7: The inexistence of mind readers
Day 8: Wal-Martians
Day 9: Thongs 
Day 10: Anti-depressants 

And woo hoo... today I am thankful for China.

China?  Why in the WORLD would I be thankful for some communist country who is single-handedly replacing the American workforce? Well, hell, if it weren't for China, Wal-Mart would be out of business, now wouldn't they?  I can't imagine a country without Wal-Mart!  Where ELSE are we going to buy a deer hunting license, a box of Tampax, pick up our Prozac, a bottle of cheap wine, grab some fried chicken along with a swing set for the backyard all while getting our oil changed and picking out engagement rings???  Wal-Mart.  You know, too, you can do all of this while wearing your bathrobe, too!

Scary to think about the fact if we continue to purchase items that ARE "Made in China" we are helping fund their 30% abortion rate.  :)  

Here is a collection of SOME of the more widely known companies that manufacture or have manufacturing contracts in China, just for shits and giggles... because I'm all about information sharing:

AT&T
Abercrombe & Fitch
Abbott Laboratories
Acer Electronics
Ademco Security
Adidas
ADI Security
AGI- American Gem Institute
AIG Financial
Agrilink Foods, Inc. (ProFac)
Allergan Laboratories
American Eagle Outfitters
American Standard
American Tourister
Ames Tools
Amphenol Corporation
Amway Corporation
Analog Devices, Inc.
Apple Computer
Armani
Armour Meats
Ashland Chemical
Ashley Furniture
Associated Grocers
Audi Motors
AudioVox
AutoZone, Inc.
Avon

Banana Republic
Bausch & Lomb, Inc.
Baxter International
Bed, Bath & Beyond
Belkin Electronics
Best Buy
Best Foods
Big 5 Sporting Goods
Black & Decker
Body Shop
Borden Foods
Briggs & Stratton

Calrad Electric
Campbell 's Soup
Canon Electronics
Carole Cable
Casio Instrument
Caterpillar, Inc.
CBC America
CCTV Outlet
Checker Auto
CitiCorp
Cisco Systems
Chiquita Brands International
Claire's Boutique
Cobra Electronics
Coby Electronics
Coca Cola Foods
Colgate-Palmolive
Colorado Spectrum
ConAgra Foods
Cooper Tire
Corning, Inc.
Coleman Sporting Goods
Compaq
Crabtree & Evelyn
Cracker Barrel Stores
Craftsman Tools (see Sears)
Cummins, Inc.

Dannon Foods
Dell Computer
Del Monte Foods
Dewalt Tools
DHL
Dial Corporation
Diebold, Inc.
Dillard's, Inc.
Dodge-Phelps
Dole Foods
Dollar Tree Stores, Inc.
Dow-Corning

Eastman Kodak
EchoStar
Eclipse CCTV
Edge Electronics Group
Electric Vehicles USA, Inc.
Eli Lilly Company
Emerson Electric
Enfamil
Estee Lauder
Eveready

Family Dollar Stores
FedEx
Fisher Scientific
Ford Motors
Fossil
Frito Lay
Furniture Brands International

GAP Stores
Gateway Computer
GE, General Electric
General Foods International
General Mills
General Motors
Gentek
Gerber Foods
Gillette Company
Goodrich Company
Goodyear Tire
Google
Gucci
Guess?

Haagen-Dazs
Harley Davidson
Hasbro Company
Heinz Foods
Hershey Foods
Hitachi
Hoffman-LaRoche
Holt's Automotive Products
Hormel Foods
Home Depot
Honda Motor
Hoover Vacuum
HP Computer
Honda
Honeywell
Hubbell Inc.
Huggies
Hunts-Wesson Foods

ICON Office Solutions
IBM
Ikea
Intel Corporation

J.C. Penny's
J.M. Smucker Company
John Deere
Johnson Control
Johnson & Johnson
Johnstone Supply
JVC Electronics

KB Home
Keebler Foods
Kenwood Audio
KFC, Kentucky Fried Chicken
Kimberly Clark
Knorr Foods
K-Mart
Kohler
Kohl's Corporation
Kraft Foods
Kragen Auto

Land's End
Lee Kum Kee Foods
Lexmark
LG Electronics
Lipton Foods 
L.L. Bean, Inc.
Logitech
Libby's Foods
Linen & Things
Lipo Chemicals, Inc.
Lowe's Hardware
Lucent Technologies
Lufkin

Mars Candy
Martha Stewart Products
Mattel
McCormick Foods
McDonald's
McKesson Corporation
Megellan GPS
Memorex
Merck & Company
Michael's Stores
Mitsubishi Electronics
Mitsubishi Motors
Mobile Oil
Molex
Motorola
Motts Applesauce
Multifoods Corporation

Nabisco Foods
National Semiconductor
Nescafe
Nestles Foods
Nextar
Nike
Nikon 
Nivea Cosmetics
Nokia Electronics
Northrop Grumman Corporation
NuSkin International
Nutrilite (see Amway)
Nvidia Corporation (G-Force)

Office Depot
Olin Corporation
Old Navy
Olympus Electronics
Orion-Knight Electronics

Pacific Sunwear, Inc.
Pamper's
Panasonic
Pan Pacific Electronics
Panvise
Papa Johns
Payless Shoesource
Pelco
Pentax Optics
Pep Boy's
Pepsico International
PetsMart
Petco
Pfizer, Inc.
Philips Electronics
Phillip Morris Companies
Pier 1 Imports
Pierre Cardin
Pillsbury Company
Pioneer Electronics
Pitney Bowes, Inc.
Pizza Hut
Plantronics
PlaySchool Toys
Polaris Industries
Polaroid
Polo (see Ralph Loren)
Post Cereals
Price-Pfister
Pringles
Praxair
Proctor & Gamble
PSS World Medical
Pyle Audio

Qualcomm
Quest One

Radio Shack
Ralph Loren
RCA
Reebok International
Reynolds Aluminum
Revlon
Rohm & Hass Company

Samsonite
Samsung
Sanyo
Shell Oil
Schwinn Bike
Sears-Craftsman
Seven-Eleven (7-11)
Sharp Electronics
Sherwin-Williams
Shure Electronics
Sony
Speco Technologies/Pro Video
Shopko Stores
Skechers Footwear
SmartHome
Smucker's (see J.M. Smucker's)
Solar Power, Inc.
Spencer Gifts
Stanley Tools
Staple's
Starbucks Corporation
Steelcase, Inc.
STP Oil
Sunkist Growers
SunMaid Raisins
Sunglass Hut
Sunkist
Subway Sandwiches
Switchcraft Electronics
SYSCO Foods
Sylvania Electric

3-M
Tai Pan Trading Company
Tamron Optics
Target
TDK
Tektronix, Inc
Texas Instruments
Timex
Timken Bearing
TNT
Tommy Hilfiger
Toro
Toshiba
Tower Automotive
Toyota
Toy's R Us, Inc.
Trader Joe's
Tripp-lite
True Value Hardware
Tupper Ware
Tyson Foods

Uniden Electronics
UPS

Valspar Corporation
Victoria 's Secret
Vizio Electronics
Volkswagen
VTech

Walgreen Company
Walt Disney Company
Walmart
WD-40 Corporation
Weller Electric Company
Western Digital
Westinghouse Electric
Weyerhaeuser Company
Whirlpool Corporation
Wilson Sporting Goods
Wrigley
WW Grainger, Inc.
Wyeth Laboratories

X-10
Xelite
Xerox

Yahoo
Yamaha
Yoplait Foods
Yum Brands
 
Zale Corporation

So, Thanks to China!  Without you we probably wouldn't have shit in our homes.... or some rockin' Schezuan cuisine... or chop sticks... or the Beijing Olympics to talk about... 

What an empty world it would be, indeed.  

China -- so thankful!

Sunday Stealing

It's the start of a new week... Sunday Stealing. Come join us! They travel the blogosphere and rip off memes from other bloggers (who have probably stolen it as well). This is the last week for this meme, yes some of the middle was omitted, trust me you would be glad it was. 

Who Are you? Part 7 – It is Over! Part 7: Self Image 

84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you: When I'm working out it's up at 4:20 am, out the door at 4:45 am, work out from 5-6.  Home.  Make breakfast.  Out the door at 7am to take the oldest to school.  Back home at 7:30.  Grab a shower and get ready.  Wake the toddler at 8am and get him ready for preschool.  8-8:30 is breakfast; 8:30-9 is getting him ready, lunch packed, etc.  Back home and do all things domestic from 9:30-2:15.  Carpool from 2:30-3:30.  Home and then hit the ground running from 3:30-7:30 when the little one goes to bed.  Then you throw in sports, practices, Boy Scouts, Cub Scouts, errands, parties, school crap.  I need a clone.

85. What is your greatest strength as a person? Gosh, this is harder than I thought.  I'm not really sure what I would consider my greatest strength.  I'm very organized, but half the time you'd never know it because at times, I seem quite scatterbrained.  

86. What is your greatest weakness?  The fact that I put myself last... 

87. Are you going to run for President in 2016?  Hell, no.  I'd never want to run for political office.  I'd have to hate myself.

88. Are you generally self-contained?  Yes.  Generally.  Until someone gets to know me...hee hee hee

89. Are you generally organized or messy?  I'm very organized... I believe that the cliche "a place for everyting and everythign in its place" makes for an organized, streamlined process.  

90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at: Good:  cooking, teaching, persuading   Bad:  temper control, filtering my mouth, letting people know when I need help or am hurting inside

91. Do you like your neighbors? Sure.  Do they like you? I don't really care if they do or not.  I can't do anything about it if they don't so I shouldn't really sweat it if they don't.

92. Are you different in public then you act among friends?  It depends on which friends I'm around.  Just kidding.  No, I'm generally a "what you see is what you get" kind of person. 

93. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?  Happiness

94. Where do you see yourself in 4 years?  I don't.

95. If you could choose, how would you want to leave this world?  In my sleep.

96. If you had only one week to live, what three things would be bumped up on the bucket list?  I don't really have a bucket list in which to have items TO bump up.  

97. What is one thing about you that really stands out?  My boobs...they're big.  :o/  (And that's not meant to be funny -- they just are.  It's annoying.

98. What three words best describe your personality?  Bubbly, engaging, fun

99. What three words would others probably use to describe you?  Loud, honest, friendly

100. What advice do you have to give? I only give advice when it is solicited.  

 

30 Days of Thanksgiving -- Day 10

If you're keeping up, and you clearly should be -- if for no other reason than to know the current date -- that it's time for another installment of 30 Days of Thanksgiving. 

As usual, our recap is as follows: 

Day 1: glow sticks
Day 2: Pampers
Day 3: cold weather
Day 4: Canton, TX
Day 5: Q-tips
Day 6: Inside jokes
Day 7: The inexistence of mind readers
Day 8: Wal-Martians
Day 9: Thongs 

And, obviously, this leads us to today -- Day 10. 

Drumroll please.... today I am thankful for anti-depressants. 

I'm quite sure that this is a pretty obscure item to be thankful for.  I am, however, quite thankful for them.  I'm not actually on them, but according to several studies, it shows that in the last 20 years, prescriptions for these meds has increased over 400%.  One in eleven persons over the age of 12 is on them and that's an estimated 27 million Americans!  That's a lot of pill poppers!  

Could you imagine the level of anxiety, strife and agitation in this country should people actually have to deal with reality on a regular basis...UNmedicated?  GASP!

I'm thankful for Zoloft, Lexapro, Prozac, Paxil, Cymbalta, Luvox, Remeron, Effexor, Celexa, Wellbutrin, Savella and Vestra!

What I don't understand is how anyone who takes these would want to deal with the laundry list of side effects: nausea, insomnia, ejaculation issues (not that I would need worry about that), diarrhea, dizziness, dry mouth, fatigue, drowsiness, indigestion, shakiness, loss of appetite, decreased libido, hot flashes, nervousness, sweating.... to name a few.


Maybe with a high enough dosage, users won't feel so bad about shitting themselves while shaking to death in a pool of their own sweat feeling nauseous because their stomach is empty due to the fact that they have no appetite.  They're also ridiculously moody from being exhausted but since they're unable to count the sheep, they stay in this agitated state.  This also means that they'll likely be unmotivated to do much of anything -- especially sex which is due to the fact that they can neither get off nor have the libido to have the desire to do so... which will just  LEAVE THEM DEPRESSED!  Yeah, that's a great circular path of logic.  

I say you're probably better off hitting the damn gym, getting some natural mood altering sweat going for yourself and then trying that out for a spell.  :)  

But, if it keeps your psychosis and crazies at bay... pop those pills!

Saturday 9 - Good Morning Heartache

It's that glorious day of the week where we converge at Saturday 9 for some meme action.  Today's topic:  Good Morning Heartache




1) Do you come up with your brightest ideas early in the morning or late at night? Honestly, I come up with ideas (which could be up for interpretation as to whether or not they constitute "bright") at all times of the day.  My brain never stops.  It's a blessing, and a curse.

2) Are you more likely to feel romantic at night or in the morning? Definitely in the morning.

3) Do you shower in the morning, after work or before bed? Yes.  Hee hee.... I hate it when people answer stuff like that!  I mean, it works, but it's like asking your child, "Did you have a good day today?"  And they reply with, "Yes."  You OBVIOUSLY want more information but they only gave enough to answer your question.  I only do it to get on people's nerves.  So, to more FULLY answer the question.  When I go to the gym, I do not shower first thing in the morning because that would just be idiotic.  I generally shower after I get Josh off to school and then return home before getting Benji up and ready for school.  

4) Billie Holiday was just 44 when she died. Is there an artist whose early demise surprised and saddened you? Nope.  I don't get hung up personally on any sort of artist to truly be affected by their demise.  

5) Billie was known as "Lady Day." Do you have a cool nickname? (If not, feel free to give yourself one right now.) No.  Isn't that sad?  I feel like George Costanza wanting to be called "T-bone" or something.  I'm not comfortable with giving myself a nickname.  I'm fine with "hey you."

6) When was the last time you had the blues? Bleh, do I have to answer?

7) Crazy Sam is eating Trader Joe's Snickerdoodles as she composes this. What's the last snack food you ate? I ate a handful of almonds last night while I was outside with Benji.

8) Do you worry about preserving endangered species? Or do you believe in survival of the fittest? Yes.  Ha ha... there I go again!  I do believe in survival of the fittest but I believe, we, as a species have a responsibility to realize when we are encroaching upon the environments of others and do what we can to protect them.  I think every animal plays a significant role in the circle of life and varying ecosystems and I do believe that wiping out one species can have dramatic results (mostly negative) upon the environment from which they were obliterated.  

9) Would you ever hire a lawyer who runs commercials on TV? Do you know anyone who has? No, and yes.  

Friday Fill-Ins

Oh yes, oh yes...it's time!  Time once again for FRIDAY FILL-INS!  And here we go!

1. One time, I became so irritated at all the candy wrappers strewn about from the Halloween candy that I threw it all away.  Oh wait, that wouldn't be one time...that would be TODAY! 

2. The ache the day after an intense workout is something that makes me smile. 

3. Seven words I love: Let's get rid of the mini van. BWAHAHAHAH!!!  I can't stand that friggin car.

4. I think the world looks so surreal covered in snow; I need to live where that happens more often.

 
5. I looked out the window today and saw Lucy trying to pull something from the "non" dog side to the "dog side".

 
6. I'm craving GUACAMOLE and that's saying something!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to getting my foyer emptied of the clothes that have taken up residence there (purging baby-2T since we're DONE with them finally!), tomorrow my plans include picking Drew up from his best friend's house, going to his last baseball game to take team photos and Sunday, I want to do something just for me... although I don't know what just yet!