Saturday, December 8, 2007

Has THIS ever happened to you?

$hit happens -- they say that for a reason... because, frankly, it does. I just don't expect it on my floor. Yeah, that's right, you heard me... let me start at the beginning...

I was sitting down to enjoy a HOT dinner... a nice, juicy steak that's been cooked to perfection, some yummy seasoned brown rice hot steamed broccoli with ooey gooey cheese, crunchy hot toasty garlic cheese bread...

when you get that "something's missing" feeling. I holler for Drew and you hear this faint, muffled noise... something so undiscernable that you just have to go check it out as you don't even know where it's coming from so... away from the table I flew like a flash (ha ha... ok, I won't set this to rhyme... as it'd totally ruin the real story for the rest of you)

So I walk in the bathroom... not the one in the hall next to the family room closest to where I am... but no, the one that's through my darkened bedroom, in my even darker bathroom and there he is in the potty chair. :) Great right? No. I'm thinking... hurry up and poop so I can wipe your "bo hiney" and I can move past this moment and actually enjoy my meal.

Drew, are you done?

No, not yet.


.... chitter chatter.... chitter chatter.... blah blah blah

are you done yet?

No, not yet.


then he stands up and proceeds to walk to the toilet like a penguin because his pants are still pulled down to the bottom of his legs... and then it hits me like a ton of lead.

Drew... were you on the little potty (I've been encouraging him to use the "big" potty instead of the potty chair because they're just so gross to have to clean out)


when you're ON the little potty, don't you need to make sure that THIS is IN IT? (see me, mom, holding up the TOILET BOWL thing? And I hold it up... I then look down at the floor in my bathroom... pull up the toilet "chair" and yes, there in my floor is my son's bowel movement, pee... all ready for me to now clean up....

freakin GROSS.

I, of course, have to take off his pants because pee, unlike solid, doesn't STAY where you put it so his socks are now saturated... and there's a visible little snail trail across the floor because his 100% cotton socks absorb it like sponges... so strip him from the waist down to say "Mommy is NOT happy about this. The little potty chair is NOW going bye bye... you WILL use the big potty from now on."

his reaction -- cover his eyes. Apparently if he can't see me, it makes the action nullified and therefore, he's no longer in trouble.


so yes... I was spraying Clorox bleach cleaner on my floor and cleaning up ... good grief how DOES that child hold that much? That was unbelievable.

As a scrapper, I thought, you know, I SHOULD have taken a picture just to HAUNT him about this when he's old but ... freakin ewww... even I have my limits on that!

(after washing my hands... dinner was still warm) :)

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