And so the pity party shifts....

This is my son, Joshua's, first attempt at tackle football ever. And after my whiny, pity party about 30 minutes ago... which led to a pregnancy-hormone-induced-tear-factory moment for about ... oh.... 30 seconds give or take. I realized, I hate being held hostage by my hormones. Seriously, it's NO BIG DEAL?! WHO CARES if the meat is gone. Everyone's fed. Is it something you wanted to make? No... but WHO CARES?! Why am I -- all of a sudden -- sweating the small stuff when I'm the first one to say, "DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF." I hate not being in control of my hormones. Is this what you feel like when you "lose it." I mean, what IS "it" that you have to worry about losing?

And WHO, in their right mind, would give it to a pregnant woman to keep up with? DO you not remember -- whoever you are -- that I am the one that (while on full-on-baby-brain) puts the milk in the pantry, repeatedly walks into rooms and then forgets why I'm there, fills the washer and the soap and softener reservoirs and then forgets to turn it on. Yes, why would you give "IT" to ME to keep up with right now anyway? Shouldn't my interior come with some sort of Velcro or Gorilla Glue to keep "it" where "it's" supposed to be? You'd think so!

But alas -- I digress -- (isn't that just typical of me? ha ha) Josh walks in and I ask him, "So, how'd practice go." His face didn't return any sort of positive expression. In fact, he looked downright sad. He is such a people pleaser. He is SO not the aggressive type of person. He is SO more concerned with hurting some one's feelings rather than getting his own hurt. He is SO not the pushy person to get in some one's face to get the answer to his question. He felt like the only new person on his team. Apparently, his coach passes out the play cards at practice and then takes them back up but he hasn't had a chance to a) learn the lingo since he's new to football and b) learn the plays (since he only gets to see the plays while at practice).

The poor child felt so lost and so sad and so much like he let everyone down that he didn't have any fun at all. He was sad, mad, frustrated and felt like he wasn't able to be heard. I went over to just hold him while he broke down into sobs... and he stood there stoically... wouldn't even hug me back. I don't know if he felt like he knew he shouldn't cry or he was just so afraid he couldn't force himself to stop if he actually held onto me.

My heart just broke for him.

I did write the coach an e-mail and asked for the play book so that we could learn it. Hopefully, he will be a little more accommodating to a bigger person than one of his "kids" that he's trying to instruct.

So, it's quite easy to shift that whole pity party thing I had into a "how stupid was I for even having a second to feel like that" when my baby is upset and hurting. It's called being a mother.

I'm at that stage where Josh is 10. It's like... he's becoming the person he is going to be. I'm married to a man that was someone who lived and breathed football since he was 8. He is an aggressive personality as well. Josh is more of a renaissance man -- he likes music, art, the outdoors and just playing around with his friends. He loves science and history. He's not a "typical jock" kid. He's not a "geek" or a "nerd"... he's just "Josh" and I want him to evolve into whatever he is going to be, not because he feels like he needs to do it to connect with someone, but because THAT is who HE wants to be.

I love that he's not afraid to show his emotion... and to know that it's really okay to cry sometimes. And sometimes, you'll feel better if you just let it all out. I know I did earlier. Sometimes, you just have to be frustrated.... get it out and then get on with it.

I hear him laughing right now from upstairs... and that makes my heart feel good. I just received an e-mail from his coach, too, and he's going to e-mail out the playbooks to everyone tonight or tomorrow so he won't feel overwhelmed anymore. Big sigh of relief.

Mama bear will retract the claws now... this too has passed. :)

Living in chaos today...

Well, they've started painting the trim... read that as "my entire house smells like stinky-stanky oil based paint." UGH! It takes FOREVER to dry, too. Lola BARELY brushed up against it... now I've got several little dog hairs sticking up off of it. Nice! UGH!

I'm having to shoo the children upstairs... "don't touch ANYTHING" is the mantra of the week. It's a stinky nightmare!

I could deal with the paint....but the trim. UGH!

After taking Drew to school this morning, Josh and I were finally able erect the tent so that it could dry out and then we could pack it away correctly and so that it didn't mildew.

Then my dinner plans for 3 nights this week -- totally screwed because Josh forgot to bring in the $18 worth of hamburger meat I'd purchased and it was left in the car for 2 days. :( I just was near tears (call it an emotional pregnancy hamburger meat breakdown or EPHMB) because having to come up with something AFTER you have a plan in place... WHEN you're freakin emotional and your house is in complete disarray... yeah, it's a little tough. It sucks a lot. I just said screw it and ate a PB&J. I'll make Drew some chicken nuggets. Andy will get a couple of grilled cheese. Josh... I"ll make him grilled cheese too just so I'm not having to recreate anything. It's maddening and right now I just want to go to bed!

Couple that all with the fact that I live in a CONSTANT state of ... pain now... basically completely around where my bra strap is... just ACHES AND ACHES AND ACHES! Nothing is helping other than laying down. How many do you know that home school that can do that? Yeah, I didn't think anyone else could either. It sucks.... and I'm so unbelievably uncomfortable.

Hey... I didn't ask... can I have some CHEESE with my WHINE?! I'm having a major pity party today aren't I? OH well, I guess I'm entitled every now and then.

We've got a busy rest of the week ahead...

Wednesday -- the painters are still here. Drew has school and t-ball practice from 5:30 to 6:30ish and then I have a Pack Committee meeting

Thursday -- is my mom's birthday. Drew has pancake/PJ day at school. HOPING that my house is a little put back together so my girlfriend, Valerie of Moms of Keller, can stop by and talk homeschooling with me. If it's not yet, we'll have to reschedule. Then Josh has football practice from 5:45 - 7:45.

Friday -- Drew has reading class from 10-12. Josh has sculpture from 2:45-4:15 and then I pick him up and basically head straight to the airport. He'll miss his first football scrimmage because he's leaving for Iowa for a week. :(

Truth is stranger than fiction!

Ladies and gents -- I kid you not, I just read a story about a woman who wrecked her car because she was shaving her bikini area... WHILE DRIVING? I'm sorry... that is just so absolutely, ridiculously bizarre that I can't even grasp the right words to fully elaborate how completely unbelievable it is. But, since I can't, read for yourself HERE.

And if that wasn't enough for the bizarre news of the day -- what about having your butt caulked? I'm sorry, but if you want PLASTIC SURGICAL PROCEDURES.. you don't go to a freakin' hotel room! You go to an outpatient facility and get it done by a board certified medical professional! OMG! Read HERE. I just don't understand how someone could be so stupid!?! I really don't.

Or better yet... someone SUING an airline because the flight staff refused to examine his genitals? Hello? That's not in the job description ya FREAK! Read Here. They live and breathe among us... they live and breathe!

Saved by Sunday!

This morning we awoke at 7am to the sound of my fun alarm. We got EVERYTHING in the inside of the tent packed up inside then it started to rain. UGH! Nothing like breaking down camp in the rain... trying to decide if it were more important to pack it right, or just get it packed. I resorted to "just get it packed" and happily folded the tent and all inside the tarp and shoved it in the back of the car. It's still lying in the garage because the entire thing will need to be put up and aired out. UGH! I need a place to hang it from the ceiling apparently! I had a big glass of milk and an apple for breakfast and actually was quite full. They all made boil-in-a-bag omelettes and ate them on tortillas with my yummy peach salsa. I was just ready to go. I have to get a better plan of action for breaking down camp next time so that EVERYONE has a job and no one bails without really helping out. We had one family do that and it's just not fair to everyone else.

Because of the rain, Josh's 2pm football practice and 4:30 p.m. football BBQ were postponed. Drew's 4:30 t-ball practice was cancelled so I went and took a shower and my only errand was a grocery run at 7pm because I ran out of laundry detergent and I wanted to make sure that I had snacks/lunch meat/staples for the week to come!

All three boys went and moved the playroom around so that the painters could get in there in the morning and start working their magic on there!

Tomorrow they're going to a) paint my bathroom cabinets black, b) sand and paint the kitchen island black, c) paint the scrapbook room blue, d) repaint all the trim / baseboards in the house, and e) repaint the door by the laundry room where Thor scratched it off.

I'm not sure they'll get done and since this paint takes MUCH longer to dry and is SO freakin' stinky -- I'm not looking forward to being in my house this next week. :(

I did find out upon returning home from the store that we have a silly putty problem in the carpet -- UGH! But, apparently my "go to" for anything is supposed to work on that as well: Goo Gone. I'll try that after they're gone tomorrow.

Save me from SATURDAY! OMG!

So, we got up at like -- the BUTT CRACK OF DAWN (my alarm went off at 4:30 a.m.) UGH! I didn't sleep worth a DARN because my snoring friend was a little allergy-prone apparently. :( WAAH. No good sleep and an early morning do not mix.

I got everything piled into the car and Josh and I headed to Whataburger to start out our road trip (it's a tradition -- gotta have my taquito to start out a trip in the morning.)

Where was our destination? Why, none other than Webelos Woods at Sid Richardson. Josh is in his 4th year of Cub Scouting which is the Webelos program. This program lasts for 18 months so next year in February, he'll be eligible to bridge over into a Troop and BE a Boy Scout. Webelos is when the boys start doing more things independently from their parents and actually go visit a few Boy Scout Troops to decide where they're most comfortable going. It's going to be a fun transition for him!

We get to Sid Richardson, check in and get our Camp assignment -- Cherokee. Another Pack was already near the pavilion there so we just chose another place (and we're closest to the restroom -- the "good" restroom!) No complaints here! ha ha!

Together we choose our spot, unload one load from the car, get the tarp down, open the tent... no poles.... shake out the rain fly.... no poles... apparently my poles have grown legs and walked away. I was PISSED to say the least. So, we got in the car and made about an hour and 45 minute trip to and from Decatur to the ONLY Super Walmart in the vicinity to get a stinkin' tent. I had to buy AN ENTIRELY BRAND NEW TENT! UGH! So, coming back $100 lighter (not much happier) we missed the morning flag raising ceremony and our group was already going through some of the stations. We hurried as best we could ... joined them and THEN the fun started. Josh was able to throw tomahawks, knives, climb a monkey bridge, scale a rock wall, shoot bb guns and archery. We made a cool handicraft... we missed breakfast with the group from our little fiasco but we joined them for sandwiches and chips. Dinner was provided by the camp (fajitas and baked cinnamon apples). That night we went to a campfire program and it was a good one. After the campfire program we were supposed to follow our two "Indian guides" (Boy Scouts in Native American regalia carrying torches) back to another area for story time. Unfortunately, I was quite slower than the rest of the group so by the time we made it to the place where everyone was turning off, a truck was coming to pick up a man in a wheelchair and he asked us to take another path back. So, we just went back to the campsite and finished getting the INSIDE of the tent ready... and then walked together hand in hand to the dining hall and brushed our teeth, washed our faces and then came back. I went straight to bed.

Do you know how hard it is to turn over in a sleeping bag when you're 8 months pregnant? Well, let me just say... it's QUITE difficult! LOL. Ugh! I got to sleep but was rudely awakened several times by the sound of men SAWING through petrified forests. They weren't just sawing "logs"... they were going all out dulling their blades on these pieces of petrified wood. I just started to laugh. UGH! I only made one trip to the latrine in the dark--vowed to hold it until morning after that... and then at 4am the most wonderful sound ever... raindrops on the tent roof. I could NOT have been happier. It drown out ALL the noise and I slept SO peacefully (until it stopped!) Then I was fishing for earplugs.

Man I don't know how those guys function...or how the boys in the tents WITH them were able to sleep either. YIKES!

My Fun Friday!

Friday was actually filled with excitement!  The painters were due to show up this morning between 8:30 and 9am to begin the complete transformation of my casa.  I chose a Behr paint that is a gold color.  It's called something like Rye (I'll look it up).  And you know, stupid me, forgot to go around snapping "before" photos so I'll just have to wait NOW until it's all put back together to have some AFTER photos at least to share! 

So they got here about 8:45 am and immediately started in on the main color change -- the upstairs halls (2 of them), the 2 story cathedral rounded staircase foyer (say that 10 times real fast) and my formal dining room with -- again -- the (wasted space) cathedral ceilings.  They also repainted my laundry room in the same gold AND the hallway that is an entry from the garage into the kitchen (and the playroom!)  I absolutely love this warm color.  It actually seems to lighten the color of the floors and the crown molding just POPS now! 

My dad came to my rescue this morning and helped move all the furniture and such away from the walls so that they could focus on painting!  It's been AWESOME!  Drew had school ("jungle class") and I was told that he moved up another reader level!  Way to go son!  I'm so proud of him!  He's such a smart kiddo!

Josh skipped his sculpture class as he was busy helping my dad put together the Billy bookcases from IKEA that are upstairs in the niche and that will now house the children's library! 

Then, it was time to get all packed up for Saturday's adventure!

Friday Fill Ins

And...here we go!


1. Why are you making a mess in the playroom I JUST CLEANED?

2. I want you to take a nap -- and can I join you?

3. If you want it done right, do it mama's way and then besides it being right I will feel better because then it will be on my terms. And besides, who wants to argue with a pregnant woman? Ha ha ha!

4. Mama always said just wait and see what happens.

5. I could use an extra two days in this week to accomplish all that I need to get accomplished.

6. Look first and then leap but only after prayers are said.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to having my dad and Andy put the new Billy IKEA bookshelves together and then get them stocked with all the boys books so they look fantastico with the new paint, tomorrow my plans include getting up at 5am and driving to Sid Richardson to take my Webelos den camping with Webelos Woods and Sunday, I want to get home, get Josh to football practice at 2, the cookout at 4:30 and then RELAX -- I have earned it!!
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