Sunday, November 18, 2007

Room Mom Nazis

This post is like a year over-due for my monologuish tendencies when I have a rant about something. I was talking to my friend Gwen about it so I decided you know, it's worthy of a rant. So, here's the deal:

Last year when my son, Joshua, started first grade at public school, I joined the ranks of the proud room moms across the nation. When they had the initial yearly planning meeting to let those of us new to the entire "clique" of room moms in on how it's done and what was in store, they chose to do this meeting at a park... that has a 2 story play area for big kids... ??? I had an 18 month old...are you following me here? I responded back that I'd come (because I was supposed to be there) but I didn't think that it would be a very frutitious effort on my part because I'm sure I'd spend the better part of the meeting chasing my son on the playground.

I got there and sure 'nuff, he headed right to the playground... I redirected and was able to join in a few minutes of the meeting... some of these moms were really just letting their kids run crazy with no supervision... it was very nerve racking!

They got to the discussion of the "holiday parties" -- I HATE that you can't call them Christmas parties anymore. I hate political correctness, it sucks the fun out of everything. over 90% of the population is Christian but we are such a bunch of wussies that the miniscule 10% gets their way... somethings' wrong when we try to say that majority rules but it really doesn't... what a bunch of hypocrites we are! -- anyways... they said for the craft -- all the classes had to do the same thing because that way it was fair and equitable (since when does everything in life have to be fair and equitable)? so the craft they were goign to do was tie dye t-shirts. I just sat there while everyone was just listening and not peeping a word. Apparently, I was the only one that was like... ?? hello, HOW are you going to do tie dye shirts at a school party? Oh no, you don't dye the shirts at school, the craft is that you let the kids have a t-shirt and put the rubber bands on them... then the room mom takes the shirts home and dyes them. I just sat there and smiled shaking my head up and down until she paused and then started shaking it in disagreement and retorted, "that's not a craft... that's rubberbands... and I'm not dying shirts." You would have thought that I dropped an "F-bomb" in church the way their heads spun around to look at me... how DARE I challenge the way it's always been done... this wonderful idea of a craft for the Holiday party -- can you tell me what part of putting rubber bands on a plain white Hanes t-shirt is "holiday-ish?" My thoughts exactly. So then I proceeded to continue to question this ingenious, creative-laden, holiday inspired craft with "how are you going to get the t-shirts back to the kids? Are you going to have them write their names on the tags inside?" And the reply was, "oh they don't get back the one they made... they just get back a t-shirt" -- sure, lets teach them about fraud in the first grade -- hopefully they'll all get a job at a bank or as a gemologist or better yet, a politician!

By that time, Drew had doddled over to the large kid play area -- you know the kind with the 2nd story drop offs to a fireman pole-type-serious-bodily-injury-adult-supervision-required play area. Off I went... I'm sure they had some choice words to say in my absence... I basically stayed there for a play date at the park with my son while the rest of the meeting was being carried out.

Once I realized things were wrapping up, I scooped up my kiddo and headed to the master planning table and said politely, "so, someone is going to e-mail a synopsis of this meeting to those of us that didn't make it or that were busy supervising our children right?" And again -- the were in shock that the bride of Frankenstein had spoken. I got a hasty synopsis that I was supposed to memorize with a dash of attitude and an ounce of contempt. It was my first official welcome into this secret society.

.... fast forward a month or so....

Josh comes home with his class t-shirt (another mom in the room graciously agreed to labor to dye them since I didn't sign up to do that when I'd already PAID for a SCHOOL T-SHIRT!?!? WTH is wrong with the t-shirts the school had PROFESSIONALLY made? Just request that parents buy those??? I mean, they're living in a ritzy school district anyway... don't tell me they can't afford a $10 t-shirt for field trips!?!) ANYWAY.... so he comes home with this shirt that is NOT the size that we'd requested, and it is LIGHT LAVENDER TIE DYE? And, all kidding aside, I looked at Josh and said, "What the hell is that?" He just started laughing and said "my class t-shirt" to which I replied, "but it's light purple... it's a girl color... yo'ure not wearing that" and he said, "we're supposed to wear them next Tuesday for a school field trip."

Do you know what I did with that shirt? I threw it away. I told my son about the battle, the war, the reasoning, the fraud, and the fact that it was 2 sizes too small because they didn't give hi mback the size we'd paid for... I said, if you have a field trip, you can wear your school shirt that I bought and paid for... I'm not sending you to school in a lavender tie-dye shirt. He just smiled... said "okay... giggled" and then said "good". :)

Seriously, if I feel the need to get my son in touch with his feminine side I'll play some Barry Manilow for him and we'll move on.

Teaching my kid to fight the good fight.... and hoping someone has a better idea for this year's holiday "craft"

... sidebar -- by the way, the field trip was post-poned due to inclement weather...twice... then canceled so they never needed them anyway! :) Hee hee hee... I think that's called divine intervention -- or karma

1 comment:

Rebecca said...

Yer a HOOT! And, I say, Amen, Sista! My DD asked me why I hadn't signed up to be a Room Mom for her this year in 1st grade and I told her I was already initiated into that deal with her older bro and wasn't going there again! HA!