Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Blog Fodder

I get lots of "things" in my e-mail and some have GREAT messages that I just feel compelled to share. :) This is one I received 1/9/05. I've saved it that long and have received it many times since BUT since I'm having ISSUES with my computer, I'm seriously clearing out my Outlook files. :) Which is great, too, because then I have lots of blog fodder.

I Loved You Enough...

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them:

I loved you enough... to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home...

I loved you enough... to insist that you save your money and buy a bike for yourself even though we could afford to buy one for you.

I loved you enough... to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough... to make you go pay for the bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."

I loved you enough... to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough... to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough... to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough... to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.

And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them....Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world!

While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds. Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16. Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced.

None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms.


and enough of the smooshy mushy crap... how about a joke? :)

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000.00 loan to take a holiday.'

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000.00 and he wants to use this as collateral.'

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?'
(you're gonna love this)

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone.'

(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are...)

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