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Sunday, August 29, 2010

The One Upper and a Bitch Session

I'm getting this out and then I'm done with it.

I was so proud of Josh... he made the 5th grade band at Fort Worth Christian! I could tell that HE was proud, too. He tries to be humble but he wanted it SO badly... and he got it and I couldn't have been more proud of him. He was afraid to play rock music for an audition but I told him just becuase he went to a Christian school didn't mean that he couldn't listen to classic rock. That's just silly.

So, like any proud mama, I posted it to my Facebook page to share with my friends that know and love Josh OR that support me and would be excited for me too.

And then my sister comes and leaves a post that says, "Oh cool." Followed by about four lines of how wonderful HER daughter is. Completely without class. If you want to post about how wonderful your daughter is, do it on your Facebook wall, not mine.

Seriously, she tries to one up EVERYTHING in my or my kid's life. Does she really feel that badly about her, her life, her children that she feels the need to point out that although my kid did something great -- for him -- her daughter is obviously better because of such and such. She's done it repeatedly. It's annoying. It's obvious she's either jealous, bitter, contemptuous or just outright mean. Maybe a combination of all of them.

I posted something one time about Josh and running wherein she added how her girls were running 5k's and Cannon (the youngest) is going to run her first in a week. Well, good for them. Again, why shove it in my face about your kids. I'm excited for you and for them but don't post it at the expense of my children like you're showing how elite your family is over mine. It's pathetic. Thing is... every single time she does this I get e-mails from family and friends that know her telling me how absolutely pathetic it is that she does it and how badly she looks for having done it. So, it makes me wonder, does she even REALIZE she's doing it or is it so engrained in her psyche to put everyone else down to build yourself up even higher that she doesn't even know any better? Wow. That's sad.

I'm thinking, perhaps, she's still quite bitter about the fact that I didn't tell her I was pregnant. I know I did a post on that but I can't remember what I called it so in a nutshell, here's my rationale. I didn't tell her because I haven't really spoken to her in about 4 years. Yep, you heard me right. She moved to Hawaii and basically never called me again. I'd called and e-mailed and stuff but she was just doing her own thing and... well, there's a lot more than ocean between us now. I don't know her. I don't know her kids. I don't know her husband. She's related to me but she's more like a 5th or 6th cousin. We are "friends" on Facebook but I feel that is about to be shortlived. What's the point of BEING friends on Facebook if you're not friends in real life! So, I didn't tell her I was pregnant. Why? Because I don't know her. I don't talk to her and so for me to even call her would have been some kind of a conversation like this:

riiiiing, riiiiiing
Hello?
Hey, hi. It's April.
Oh, hey. What's going on?
Not much. Hey, I'm pregnant.
Oh cool.
Well, bye.
Bye.

What was the point of that? Seriously? It's just stupid. The people in my inner circle that really matter in my life knew. People that I talk to and converse with and that are close friends and famiy and that make a point to call and check on me... those people know. People that I don't talk to or have anything to really do with other than a card at Christmas... they didn't know. Why she'd expect anything differently I have no idea. I know if she were I'd never know either -- and I don't care about that. I don't know the nieces that I DO have... what's one more? Thing is, I'm totally okay with it.

So I don't have that storybook relationship of sisters that lean on one another and that can share recipes and ... send their kids to each other's homes in the summer for a week at a time to have a fun get away with their aunt. I always wanted that for my kids. Where your families vacation together and are close and enjoy one another's company. I don't have that. I'm okay with that. I guess she's not. But. That's not my problem.

5 comments:

~Alison~ said...

Hi, so sorry about your relationship with your sister. It so good that you are OKAY with it though. I have an on again off again type thing with my brother. We'll not talk for ages. He tends to be anti-social to anyone not living in his house and I guess that bugs me since that's just leaving me on the outs. Since his family lives with our parents. So, I guess that's why it bugs me. I feel like I'm the one on the outs when it's him with the social disorder.

But it sounds like you have a healthy look out about it and aren't letting it get you down! That's fabulous!

I know sometimes on Facebook, I'll chime in with a bit about my baby on someone else's wall post about their baby...I don't feel as if I'm bragging...just continuing the conversations....now I'm hoping that no one thinks I'm bragging!
:(
Congrats on your son's accomplishments!

I'm a new follower! Had to stop by when I saw your profile pic is a boston terrier! We have a Boston! 3 years old! 30 pounds of TERROR! haha! But we love her!

chksngr said...

For some people, its just all about them. It could be insecurity, or it could be perfectionist addiction...it could be the they are struggling to find common ground...it could be so many thing. I had a very wise woman tell me once that there are some people who's lives you will ALWAYS so into. They just can't get where you are...at any rate...BRAVO JOSH!! Love that he did something that he loves for his audition...it never ceases to amaze me what kids connect with and what they can do with that motivation! WOOHOO!!!

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Ugh I'm so sorry my dear that really is a sad and selfish of her. I had a friend like that thankfully just a friend so it was easy to just cut her out with not having any family ties.

I've never understood the one up mentality. Why do ppl use their kids like pawns in a chest game. I'm happy for you and your kids this is not a must be better then the jones thing!

Together We Save said...

So happy for your son. As for your sister... sorry to hear she can't just be happy for you!!

Shauna said...

LOVE AND HUGS TO YOU!!!

I am new here! Would love for you to come visit me too :)

http://www.trying2staycalm.com/