What do you say???

It was about 10:30 p.m. last night and my cell phone rang. I was sure it was a wrong number because, well, no one ever calls me that late (or if they do, my phone is generally in my car so I never know until the next day.)

Hello?

Hey. (The voice sounded vaguely familiar but..?? perhaps I was sleepy.)

Yes?

Hey what's going on?

Who is this?

Who is THIS?

I think perhaps you go the wrong number...

No... this is _______. Who is this?

YOU called me, do you not know who you called... wait, you said your name was ______. As in ________(first name) ___________ (last name)?

Yes...

OH MY GOSH how are you... blah blah blah

I could tell he'd been drinking (heavily). Honestly, EVERY time he's ever really drank a great deal... he ALWAYS calls me. It's just our connection (ha ha). Seriously, I've known this guy since 7th grade and he's been one of my best friends ever since then.

I inquired about how he was doing... I knew he was supposed to be in training because he told me about 6 months ago that he was going to be going back overseas.

The conversation progressed and we spoke of things I'm not at liberty to say as they're confidential and I would never betray his confidence... but, as the conversation grew I realized the true purpose of his call.... he was terrified beyond belief. He was going to have over 400 people under his command going into a hostile combat zone and was asking me, through tears, how he can instruct someone to kill another human being. "How did I get to this?" He's terrified of what if they engage in fire and his people kill someone... and then it winds up all over CNN because someone said they killed someone "innocent" and then he's court-martialed and his career is over... how PATHETIC is it that our own soldiers are having to second guess their own safety and are more willing to take a bullet than have their families disgraced like they're just some complete brainless killing machines? The media machine is a bunch of blood thirsty BASTARDS! He's going to be heading a position that he said no one has come back alive from. How do you think that makes him feel? This is his job, my fellow Americans. Does he want to do it? Of course not. He's doing it because it's his duty.

He's doing it because he is an American soldier. Though he is comfortable enough to be transparent with me... when the time comes and push comes to shove, he will put on his game face and do his job... tracking the enemy in special ops. He is a father to two beautiful children, a husband to a sweet and caring woman, a brother, a son... and my best friend. He is putting his life on the line because he knows what the pay-off is for a mission so great. But he is scared. He's not a killing machine, nor are any of these other people, they're just doing their jobs so that we, back here at home can feel secure that we're not going to have another 9/11.

He cried and begged me to pray for him. So, if you've made it this far into this post... I'm asking YOU to pray for him too. Pray for his safety, pray for his command, pray for his family, pray for our enemies, pray for our military, pray for his leadership, pray... pray... pray.

My heart broke last night on the phone and I all wanted to do was go to wherever he was and hold him forever.

Generally, my MO for people that are upset are to let them go on... let them have their say and then try to lighten the situation. I was remotely successful in doing that when he repeated, "How did I wind up here? How did I get to this?" I said, "well, you've obviously done such a fantastic job that they knew you were the man for the job ... because you'll get these men and women home safe.... well, that or you really pissed someone off."

(my tactic worked)

God bless our soldiers... God bless their families... I love you GP, you're one of the bravest men I know. You will always have a place to express your feelings with me... Godspeed. I swear I'll make good on my promise... come back through DFW on your way home in 12 months... I'll see you soon brother! Hang in there... Git r DUN!