Saturday, May 29, 2010

I Shoulda Been A Polar Bear

I said it before and I'll say it again, I should have been a polar bear.

You're healthy if you're covered in a thick layer of blubber. You get to swim. You're feared and people KNOW not to mess with you OR your offspring. You live in a climate that is nice and chilly.

It's not even the first day of summer and it's FREAKIN HOT. I loathe Texas summers. Seriously, it's noon and the heat index is 95 degrees. Who WANTS to be outside when it's 95 degrees with no clouds? It's just ... UUGH! No thanks!

If you wear shorts and drive somewhere, your legs sweat so that it a) looks like you've peed your pants and then b) you get stuck to the seat. Eww!

You try to time going to the grocery store with the sun being down since you know you'll have to leave the door to the garage open while you empty the car and then the AC won't have to run in the heat of the day to cool the garage while you unload.

If you wake up and shower, fix your hair and make up and then want to do ANYTHING that requires being outside for longer than 2.7 seconds, if you want to do anything ELSE after you've done the ONE thing... you need to REshower.... and reaffix your make up that has now dripped off ontop your shirt. You will go through 2.5 bras a day because they'll be soaking wet. And do I even have to mention the sweaty crotch/butt syndrome? No one likes to feel sweaty butt cheeks... ewwww! But, if you sit, you sweat and so yeah, you'll go through 2.5 pairs of undies a day as well.

Why in the world people WANT to live in this kind of heat is beyond me. I say yuck! I'm going to declare myself allergic to the sun!

1 comment:

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Polar Bear that explains the fluffy look I got going on! God put me in the wrong body :).

Here in Washington we've rained straight for 4 days :(