Monday, November 5, 2012

A Month of Thanksgiving -- Days 1-5

All over Facebook, posters are giving their daily dose of "thankful".  I thought it would be fun to play along as well. Unfortunately I started a couple of days late so there will be some catching up to do. So, days one through five... Here we go.

1)  Glow sticks.
And yes, I'm being completely fo' ree-yule (real).  They're not only fun, colorful, bright and glow-y... they just make people happy.  Give a kid a glow stick and they become superheroes.  Hell, I think I AM a superhero and I don't even have one.  Hmmm perhaps it's just that I became one from osmosis when purchasing the box!!  With a glow stick, you can fight the Dark Side, you can poke things, you can swing it around like it's a rave!  You can play catch in the dark!  Glow sticks!  Think about it!

2)  And since this number is so fitting for this past week/month/time period... (I'll wait a second for you to catch up... )

Okay, are you back now?

Got it?


Yes, this week has been THE SHITS!  Literally and physically.  So, my choice for deux is Pampers.    Because without them, I would have been up to my eyeballs in shit-soaked cloth diapers this past week.  And, mind you, while I have nothing against those who choose to utilize them because they're much more environmentally friendly and earth-responsible (frankly, those people are my hero because I'm a closet "greenie" in my head), I just personally have no desire to play with fecal matter any more than I absolutely have to.  The less chance I have of it touching me, the better. And, I certainly don't want it in my washing machine.

3)  Cold weather.  I'm not talking about the plug-in-your-car and wear-protective-eyewear-so-your-eyeballs-don't-freeze type of cold... I'm talking about the level of "cold" where you can wear... FLANNEL!    As I commonly tell Tamara, "embrace your inner lumberjack."  It's warm, it's fuzzy, it's stylish, it's great with layering... it's flannel....and it's only comfortable when it's cold!  Yeah for cold weather!

4)  Canton, Texas.  Where else are you going to watch a bunch of ginormously overweight people driving scooters instead of walking (apparenly fitness is over-rated) while eating copious amounts of fried things and consuming gallons of sugar-laden soda.... while bartering for goods.  Canton, it's a garage sale, antique store, crafter's delight and flea market all in one.  And, I love it!  Notice the funnel cake sign?  That was no accident!  Oh, and Janet, if you're reading -- CORN DOG!  :)  (They have those too! ha ha!) Canton, where you can shop for clothing, jewelry, jalapeno popper grill mates, orthopedic flip flops, circa 1940 retired China patterns, an airplane fuselage and vintage Star Wars toys... Canton.  Much to be thankful for.

5) And now after this, I'm caught up.  Today on Facebook I was grateful for the movie The Lorax.  Why?  Not because it was brilliantly scripted (though it is) or cleverly pixelated (it is that, as well) but because it gave me the opportunity to actually TAKE A SHOWER without Benji trying to open the door repeatedly
...or throw stuff AT the door while I was trying to suds up the mane
...or torture the canines causing me to then have to LEAVE the warm confines of my glass enclosure to chase him down and save the fur babies.  (It's quite amazing how quickly you can run when you're naked, dripping wet and in hot pursuit of a fleeing toddler because you're COLD!

You see, we had Daylight Savings Time this weekend.  You know the fun creation of our government which makes everyone feel so special like they get an extra hour of sleep one night each fall... only to take it back each spring.  My son, yeah, the time change doesn't go over so well for him.  He was up at the crack of dawn... as in 7am... before I could get a shower.

I used to HATE Daylight Savings Time when I worked at the Sheriff's Office in Colorado because we weren't compensated for an additional hour when we clearly worked it (I worked midnights.)

So, anyway, I posted about that and someone piped in and asked if that was what I was thankful for today.  And I said, "No, today I'm thankful for Qtips."

Yep, you heard me, so, Numero Cinco is Qtips.  Why am I thankful for Q-tips?  Because what the hell else are you going to stick in your ear to clean them?  (My grandfather used to use the caps of ball-point pens.  That still grosses me out to this day.)  However, let's be real, shall we?  We all know that the box CLEARLY states not to enter the ear canal, yet, I am not sure I have ever met a person who doesn't clean the inside of their ears with a Q-tips.

[And, for the record, I don't like plural words that are to be used singularly.  That's like saying, "Bring me a pair of scissors."  Yet, it's NOT a PAIR of anything.  It's "A" scissors.  The one, singular item is called "scissors."  The only person I have ever heard utilize this word correctly (other than myself) would be... Mrs. Perfect, herself... 

However, this accolade only goes so far because she pronounces the "h" in the word "herb" and that, frankly, makes me think she's an idiot.  Albeit, a perfect one, but still an idiot, nonetheless.


Sprmommy said...

You are killing me! How do you know it's not a pair of scissor? ;) Yes, I know. I just had to though.

Thank you for lightening the "Thankful" thing. It was so ~bleck~ and mushy. Things people really had to think about and be all sappy for.

Yours are indeed fo' ree-yule!!

Love you girl!

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Oh lord ur freaking going to make me pee myself!

Oh fried foods how I thought we were friends until my rear decided to expand into a flotation device that has deployed and didn't want to retract!